Page 14 of Dirty Secrets

I’d gone home and told her and Reid all about it because that was what best friends did.

“I don’t want to get attached to them though. I’m not looking for romance and coddling, I’m looking for a dick to take myvirginity.” She said it so casually that I did well not to snap at her.

We’d done that. Given her the mindset that sex was meant to be no strings attached.

“Rae,” I sighed softly, ignoring her annoyance as I grabbed her jaw gently and forced her to look at me. “Find the right person first, okay? You’ll end up hurt otherwise, and I don’t just mean emotionally. Someone selfish would use you for their own pleasure and not care about injuring you. You need someone gentle who can give you the right aftercare.”

“I don’t need aftercare.”

“You do. Listen to me. I’ve had a lot of sex and I’ve learned a lot. Girls with experience don’t seem to get so emotionally attached, but the inexperienced ones? They subconsciously get upset about it even when they say they’re happy with just a fling. You won’t be able to help it, Rae. Being intimate with someone puts you in a vulnerable position and your emotions will come into play, no matter how much you try to suppress them. I don’t want you lying on some old, stained mattress alone, feeling used and upset.”

I released her as she sat up, but she didn’t leave like I thought she was going to. She wrapped her arms around her legs and pulled them to her chest, resting her cheek on her knees to watch me.

“Maybe I should rob a bank and pay a male sex worker to just do it. At least they’re trained.”

I huffed out a laugh, reaching out to ruffle her hair lightly. “Never thought you’d be the one chasing hookers.”

“Shut up. It would be a good idea if I had the money,” she smiled, vulnerability shining in her eyes. “I already asked Zavier about his likes, but what do you like? I might not have skills, but maybe I can have some knowledge.”

“The fuck do you and Lopez talk about?” I asked with narrowed eyes, sitting up so that we were level. “You talk sex with him?”

“He’s not an overbearing asshole like you and Reid have been.”

I wasn’t sure how to feel about that. Mainly because I knew how badly Zavier had wanted to fuck her since we were teenagers.

Did he know all of her private things like I did?

“What did he tell you? I swear if he told you something stupid like DP being a turn on, I’ll hunt him down and beat his ass right now,” I grumbled, and she rolled her eyes.

“Just that he likes eating pussy and not to be afraid of messy blow jobs. I know you’re an ass man, but is there something I should be doing that guys like? Since this is already uncomfortable, you might as well tell me.”

“You get them to do all the work and make them get you off more than once. That’s all you need to know.”

“C’mon, tell me. Do you like feet or something?” she teased.

“No. I like reverse cowgirl. It feels different,” I shrugged, leaning back against the headboard. “And Lopez is right, messy head is hot. Can we talk about something else? I’m getting hard and it’s weird to be hard while looking at you.”

I was always hard when I was looking at her but she didn’t need to know that.

“Can I ask one more question?” Her cheeks heated, which intrigued me. Raven rarely got embarrassed about anything.

“Sure.”

“How much will it hurt? Should I use something else first so it’s not so bad when I do it? Like, a toy?” she mumbled, my dick becoming so hard I thought it would snap off.

If I thought about Raven fucking herself in the room beside mine to stretch her pussy out a little, I’d definitely come in my pants.

“I think we need to find you some girlfriends. I honestly don’t know what it’s like for girls, other than it can burn a little,” I answered as I silently prayed that I didn’t start humping her leg or something. My balls ached, and I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from blurting out that I’d give her what she wanted.

“Ugh, yuck. I don’t want girlfriends,” she muttered, cracking me up and thankfully taking the subject away from her pussy. She really didn’t get along with many girls, and it wasn’t like Beckett would want to talk sex with her.

She wasn’t exactly the type to giggle and swap sex stories.

Raven

I spent most of the day locked in my room with Logan. He told me about a lot of his bad experiences with hookups, like the time he had drunk sex with a girl and she threw up all over him when she was riding him.

I really didn’t understand the appeal of getting that drunk every weekend. Maybe because I saw what alcohol had done to my father, but throwing up on people and not remembering an entire night sounded scary, not fun.