Page 37 of Dirty Secrets
Was sex always like that, or was Logan just really fucking good at it?
How would it feel when he brought girls home and I heard them fucking?
I’d always been a little jealous, but now that I’d slept with him, I was likely to murder any woman who touched him.
Reining in my anger and hurt would be hard, but I had to control myself, or Reid and Zavier would know we’d done something, and it would start World War Three in the fucking kitchen.
I grabbed the red paint to keep going, my style getting messier as frustration filled me until I tossed the can aside and let an angry tear fall.
Why hadn’t I just slept with a stranger to make this easier? I shouldn’t have let the guys talk me out of it.
I cursed under my breath as I used the sleeves of my hoodie to wipe my eyes, not expecting to find Logan standing in front of me when I pulled my hands away again.
“Are you upset with me?” he asked with uncertainty, relief hitting him when I shook my head. “Thank fuck. Reid said you wanted to be alone and I thought it was because of me. What’s wrong?”
I shook my head, forcing a smile but my lips trembled. “Nothing.”
“Rae. You’re crying,” he said as if I wasn’t aware, stepping closer but stopping when I took a step back. Confusion filled his eyes, and I waved a dismissive hand at him as another stupid tear fell.
“We shouldn’t have done it,” I choked out, wrapping my arms around myself and making him curse.
“Fuck, you regret it, don’t you? I should’ve?—”
“It was so good. Too good, to be honest, because the thought of you doing that with someone else is making me want to kill someone,” I laughed, wiping my cheeks to try and look less pathetic. “You don’t owe me anything, but can you maybe not fuck girls in front of me for a while?”
“You think I’m going to drag a girl home tonight or something?” he asked slowly, cringing when I nodded. “Damn, Rae. I’m not that much of an asshole. Besides, you think I can just fuck someone else after being inside you? It’s going to take seven to ten business days for me to even believe I did that. Pretty sure my dick’s still hard for you only and has no intention of going down any time soon.”
“I thought I was the one being dramatic,” I joked, glancing down when he pointed to his semi-tented pants. “Oh.” He moved closer, not letting me step back as he pulled me against his chest, and I scowled as tears burned my eyes again. “Ugh, sex turned me into an emotional girl.”
He chuckled, tightening his hold on me as my tears soaked into his shirt. “You were already an emotional girl. I promise though, I’m not interested in pretending like last night didn’t happen.”
“That was the deal though.”
“No, it wasn’t. The deal was that it wouldn’t ruin our friendship, which it hasn’t. I barely slept last night because I kept thinking about wanting to touch you again,” he murmured, leaning back to hold my gaze. “Are you hurting? I volunteer to kiss it better.”
I laughed and swatted at him, not that he let me go. “You’re ridiculous. Just friends again today, remember? No touching.”
“I don’t want that,” he said firmly, taking my face in both his hands to stop me from looking away.
“What do you want?” I asked slowly, hope flicking inside me.
“Everything,” he answered quietly, his thumbs moving back and forth against my cheeks. “I want to be inside you all the time, and wake up next to you every damn day. I shouldn’t, but I can’t help it. Now that I’ve touched you, I don't want to stop.”
“You want me more than those other girls?” I asked hesitantly, gasping as he kissed me, answering my question.
My hands instantly moved to his chest, dragging him closer as I fisted his shirt, but I jerked back when I realized what we were doing.
“Why’d you stop?” he panted, giving me space but not letting me escape him as he kept his fingers wrapped around my wrist loosely.
“We can’t. Reid and Zav?—”
“I’ll fight them if you want,” he offered, and I scoffed.
“No. That’s not what I want.”
“Then we don’t have to tell them yet. Give it some time before telling them.”
“Logan—”