Page 55 of Dirty Secrets
“Once there’s more than two or three, I want to jump off a cliff,” she deadpanned, motioning to the woman with the babywho was now helping Noah. “We’d be fucked right now without Poppy’s help. This is the most we’ve had at one time in ages.”
One of the little girls walked over and put her sticky little hand in mine, drawing my attention.
“I like your hair,” she said brightly, the syrup from her pancakes all over her face.
“Thank you,” I smiled, reaching out to give her brown locks a gentle tug. “Yours is really pretty.” She went to touch her hair and I winced, carefully taking her wrist. “How about we wash your fingers before doing that?”
Beckett chuckled as I picked the kid up and walked towards the sink, rolling her sleeves up as I waited for the water to get warmer. I helped her wash her hands and dry them on a towel, then another kid appeared beside me, asking for help too.
I didn’t mind, these kids probably hadn’t had a lot of help with basic things like this at home, and I knew how it felt to be so small and on your own.
I’d been feeding myself since I was practically in diapers, but at least I had the guys to help me.
Poppy, who I found out was married to Beckett’s older brother, Mikey, was more than happy to hand the baby over to me while she finished getting the kids dressed, and Beckett gave me an amused smirk. “Apparently, you’re good with kids too.”
“I was one of these kids, except I dodged the system,” I answered, rocking the baby as she started to fuss. “I knew you guys helped kids, but I didn’t expect it to be like this.”
“A lot of the time, Mom donates money to charities to assist, but she can’t say no when she finds one that needs more one-on-one help. Luke and Jense get stuck with the kids a lot when everyone else is doing crew stuff or working at the bars, but it’s usually not this many at once, so Poppy stepped in to help this time. Once they’re dropped off at school, it’s a lot easier.”
Lukas and Jensen were the only two of Beckett’s fathers who weren’t members of the Psychos or Devils. From what I’d been told, they’d mostly been stay at home dads Beckett’s whole life.
“You want to feed her?” Lukas offered, making a bottle. “You can hand her here if you don’t.”
“I’m not usually around kids this little. Is there a right way to do it?” I asked with a wince, following him as he crooked his finger at me to follow him into the living room.
Once I was seated in the recliner with a towel over my shoulder and the baby cradled in one arm, he handed me the bottle. “Keep it tilted up to stop her sucking in air. Sometimes they guzzle it too fast and can choke on it, so just sit her up and pat her back. If you don’t want to get thrown up on, maybe don’t be the one to burp her.”
“I don’t mind when it’s a baby throwing up. It’s the adults that throw up on my shoes at parties I don't like,” I said dryly, taking the bottle from him and pressing the nipple to the baby’s lips. She latched on and stared up at me as she drank, my heart melting.
Hopefully one day, I could have kids of my own, but not until I knew I could give them a good life. I never wanted my kids to live in filth, wondering when their next meal would be because I didn’t have any money.
Lukas left me and Beckett in the living room while he finished wrangling the kids with Poppy, and Beckett eyed me almost softly.
“Who knew the damaged Heights girl is a softie under all that resting bitchface?”
I laughed, readjusting the bottle to avoid the air thingy that Lukas had warned me about. “I like kids. It’s the adults I can’t stand.”
“You want your own? Gotta lose your virginity for that,” she teased, her eyes widening when I didn’t say anything. “Raven Pierce. Did you lose your virginity?”
“Keep your voice down. It’s a secret,” I mumbled. “The guys don’t know.”
“Good for you. When you tell them, please tell me to come over and watch the show. Who was it?”
“Just some guy in the Heights. We agreed to be friends with benefits so I can see what I like and learn a few things. I know you love causing trouble, but please don’t even tell Zavier. I want to enjoy this before they ruin it with their macho bullshit.”
“Zav would be a good person to tell first when you’re ready. He’d be more open to the conversation than the other two.”
“You think?”
“Yep. He wants you to be happy, so if you think you have someone good in your life and you’re happy, then he won’t start shit for you. Logan’s protective, but he’s not as controlling as Reid. Those two will take a lot more convincing, so maybe having Zavier already on your side could be a good thing,” she answered, leaning closer and waggling her eyebrows. “So, how was it?”
“It was really good. So good in fact that we did it a second time and now we can’t keep our hands off each other. It’s hard to hide from the guys though,” I murmured, feeling a little weird talking about this with her. She wasn’t usually one for girl talk.
“As long as he makes you come, that’s all that matters,” she said as she checked her phone, texting before looking back at me. “The guy’s nice though? If he’s a prick, feel free to call me. I’ll scare his balls back up inside his body for you.”
“He’s the best. He was really sweet the first time, and he likes teaching me stuff,” I said awkwardly, relieved that I could talk to someone about it. “He’s a bit of a playboy though, and I’m worried with all of his experience that he’ll get bored of me.”
“Are you exclusive?”