Page 60 of Dirty Secrets

I had to get Raven out of my head though, and no matter how hard I fucked someone else, she was all I fucking saw.

My best friend would hate me for the things I thought about doing to his sister.

My chest ached as I tried to contain the emotions, but I finally choked on a sob, giving in to it. If I didn’t let it out now, I’d be a mess by lunch in front of everyone.

I leaned on the tiles beside me, not realizing I must have been louder than I thought because Logan stepped into the shower fully clothed and gave me a tight hug, not caring that he was getting soaked.

He didn’t speak, knowing I didn’t want to talk, and I slid my arms around his middle to savor the comfort.

This was why he was family to me, he had my back and just knew when I needed him.

“You know,” he finally mumbled, teasing in his voice. “If you’re going to put your dick on me, the least you can do is take me out for dinner first. I’m not a piece of meat, bro.”

I choked out a laugh, pulling away from him to wipe my face. “You’re an ass.”

“Look, if you buy me dessert too, I’ll suck it for you,” he winked, almost slipping as he dodged my swat. “Hey! Save it for the bedroom!” I flipped him off and he turned serious again, his voice low. “What can I do?”

“Nothing. You’re already doing it,” I answered, switching the water off and grabbing a towel, tossing one to him as he stripped his wet clothes off to get dry. Nakedness didn’t really faze us, we’d been tag-teaming women forever and weren’t exactly scared of seeing each other’s dicks.

“She’s worried about you,” he said quietly, rubbing the towel over his wet hair while watching me.

“Has she eaten breakfast?” I didn’t need her to worry, it would only make her cry more and I couldn’t handle knowing it was because of me.

“Yeah, she’s perked up a bit. Zav cheered her up,” he replied, a weird tone in his voice.

“Is that a bad thing?”

“I guess not,” he mumbled, not bothering to get dressed before slipping from the room, and I heard Zavier scolding him for flashing Raven. She cursed, making Logan laugh as he shut himself in his bedroom, and a second later Zavier had her giggling at something, the ache in my chest loosening slightly.

She’d be okay, she just had to get through today.

The part we liked about today was visiting Josh’s grave and telling Zavier stories about him. Raven laughed as she told him about the time her brother had shit his pants, thanks to Logan putting laxatives in his drink once, and Zavier cracked up laughing as if he hadn’t heard the story a million times before.

Logan went into great detail about the entire ordeal, and Raven leaned back against me as she listened like it was the first time hearing it.

We repeated the same stories most years, finding comfort in the memories we all shared. It felt like Zavier had been there since he knew so much, and I think that made Raven happy.

I hadn’t lied though, I was pretty sure Josh would’ve hated him. Maybe if we’d met him differently they would’ve been really good friends, but the fact that Zavier had spent most of his time running from his psycho father and stalking Raven like a creep, my money was on the fact Josh would’ve beaten his ass and sent him packing.

I sat up more and tugged Raven between my legs, placing my chin on her shoulder as I listened, and she leaned back on me more with a sigh.

It was twisted, but I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of the day in bed with her, drowning our sorrows in each other.

Logan kept eyeing us, and I almost told him to mind his own business. He knew I’d never break my promise to him about keeping my hands off her, let alone my promise to Josh.

Then again, it was getting more and more difficult to stick to.

She’d felt so good against me this morning, and if she wasn’t a virgin, I would’ve pushed to see if she wanted more. But she was, so I had to keep control of myself.

When the day dragged on and Raven started shivering, we convinced her it was time to leave. Zavier drove so I could tuck her against me in the back, and the pain in my chest returned the closer to home we got.

I wished she’d let the house go, but she refused to when it was where all the memories of him were. To me, it was what stopped us all from healing, but I’d never force her out.

This was her home, our home, and she’d leave it behind when she was ready.

I let her shut herself in my room alone, Logan letting out a sigh. “We might leave you two alone, if you want? I know you’ll both be more open to letting the grief out without us here.”

“Where would you go?” I asked, and he shrugged.