Page 48 of A Fine Line
“How many are there?”
“Three who live on the ranch—Lottie, Knox, Odelia—and one more, Lawson. Oh, and Felicity. She’s not technically family, but she might as well be she’s lived with us forever. Then there are my aunts and uncles. I won’t even bother trying to catch you up on them… they’re… a lot.”
Her lack of mention of her parents made me want to push for more, but I settled for, “So, you’ve got a big family too?”
“Yup. Which is probably why I like yours so much.”
“They’re hard not to like.” My fingers continued to graze her wrist as she turned her palm up, maneuvering us into a thumb war. I let her small thumb circle mine, barely fighting back as all my focus went to the warmth of her hand around mine.
“They’re all great. It’s just kind of hard when they’re all paired up, and you’re…”
“A third wheel?”
I smiled as she pressed my thumb down in victory, then reset the game. “More like a ninth wheel.”
“Oof. That’s tough.”
“I’m happy for them all. I really like their spouses, and I love being the fun uncle. But it’s hard to explain…”
“Suffocating?” she offered, taking advantage of my pause to win another round.
“Yes.” I turned to face her more. “It’s like they all have their person, and you’re just… there.”
“Like home doesn’t feel like home anymore.”
“Exactly.”
Our thumb war gradually became our fingers tangling together, as our conversation took on the air of two adults who childishly held hands.
“Yeah, that’s part of why I left. Well, a small part. But still a reason. I felt like an outcast, even though I know it wasn’t true. But as soon as I left, I felt in my bones it was the wrong move.”
“Like you knew it wasn’t where you were supposed to go?”
I had a feeling it was exactly where she needed to go. How else could she have made it to me? How else could I be sitting here, next to her?
“Yeah… He wanted to leave town as soon as we could afford to. I thought maybe it’d be fun, exciting.”
“And it wasn’t?” I chuckled when she squeezed my hand, testing my strength.
“It was fine, I guess. But it felt wrong too. Like when you ride a roller coaster—you know it’ll be fun, but you’ll regret it afterward when you’re sore for a week.”
I pictured it for a moment: leaving. Moving somewhere foreign and fresh. But then I thought of my siblings, my parents. Working on cars with Adam, going to games with Calla, babysitting my nephews, or talking Star Wars with Luke. Just the thought of leaving felt like betrayal.
“Were they upset when you left?”
She laughed dryly. “Oh yeah. They all warned me—said it was a terrible idea, that Marshall was bad news, and I’d regret it. And they were right.”
I let my thumb brush across her palm, and she groaned softly. “Gosh, if I could talk to my younger self, I’d do so many things differently.”
I thought back over my life—over what I’d change. Only one thing came to mind. One thing that had dragged on far too long.
I pulled her hand fully into mine, lacing our fingers together. She looked up at me.
“I’m so sorry for assuming the worst about you, Winnie.”
Her head tilted, and she smiled at me—sweet and irresistible, just like everything she made.
“It’s okay, Crew. I mean it. It’s all in the past.”