Page 77 of Be Less Panda

‘And I was yours?’ But that didn’t make sense. Hans had moved into the flat beneath Olivia’s months before Nancy had arrived in Paris.

‘No. I was supposed to seduce Christa.’

‘Which is why you took her out to dinner so often.’

‘Yes. But she strung me along. I knew she wasn’t really interested in me - just the food. My heart wasn’t in it either, to be honest. And then you arrived.’

‘Are you seriously telling me that the East German equivalent of MI6 decided having an insider on Madame Dubois’s dungeon was more useful to them than someone who translated military secrets at NATO?’

‘No, but I liked you - a lot. My handler was talking about sending me back to Berlin as I’d been unsuccessful with Christa. That’s the conversation we were having when you saw us in the Louvre. I had to come up with an excuse to stay in Paris. I persuaded her that the information you had on Madame Dubois’s clients could be useful so that they would allow me to spend more time with you.’

‘So your insistence on seeing me every day and talking to me about how my day at the bookshop went was all so you could stay in Paris.’

‘No. Everything I told you was true. I genuinely enjoyed spending time with you, I cared about you, and I loved you.’ He looked across at her. ‘I think I still do.’

He reached out to hold her hand again. This was so ridiculous. Imagine explaining this to her sons, especially Nigel. He’d have her locked away in a secure unit before she knew it. She pulled her hand away again.

‘The day you spotted me trapped on the balcony. It wasn’t a coincidence that you were there then?’

‘No. I was watching who came and went from the bookshop. Then I saw you appear on the balcony with the cat, and I wondered what on earth was going on.’

‘And Ingrid and Dieter. Was their wedding a sham?’

‘Yes, but he had fallen in love with her. We weren’t meant to get romantically involved, but he did. When the wall came down in 89, he searched for her. She was divorced from another man by then. She forgave Dieter, and now they live happily in Bavaria.’

‘Sounds like a modern fairytale.’ Nancy felt like she was in some far-fetched spy film. ‘And the obscure Danish religion he belonged to?’

‘All a lie. The priest was another agent. The house was one of our safe houses. The marriage wasn’t legally binding. I didn’t enjoy that at all. I know I said on the day that I wasn’t feeling well, but it was because I was upset. I thought duping Ingrid was going too far. Ingrid had access to important documents. Dieter knew she brought them home if she was behind with her translations, but she always locked them away when he visited her flat. She refused to let Dieter stay overnight until they were married, so he never had a chance to view them. Once they were husband and wife and he moved in with her, he found out where she kept the key, and he could photograph them when she was asleep at night. So, you see, she never deliberately betrayed West Germany.’

‘She was heartbroken when you and Dieter disappeared.’ Nancy took a deep breath. ‘So was I.’

‘I am so very sorry. They must have suspected I was going to defect. I don’t know why. But I was walking to the bookshop that afternoon to meet you after work like we usually did, and I was suddenly grabbed by two men and bundled into a car. The next thing I remember was waking upin a cell in Berlin. They must have drugged me. They …. Well, let’s say they made life very unpleasant for me for a while. They let me go eventually.’

He looked tearful. Nancy reached out to touch his arm. He looked her in the eyes. ‘I would never have left you otherwise.’ He said. ‘Ever.’

‘Why did they think you were going to defect?’

‘Because that was my plan. I knew I couldn’t be with you otherwise. But I hadn’t told a soul at that stage, so I’ve still no idea how they knew.’

‘Oh, Hans,’ she said. She moved to kiss him, but he backed away. ‘There’s something else I need to tell you.’

Nancy stared at him. What else could there possibly be?

‘My name isn’t Hans. It’s Klaus. Klaus Heidrich.’

‘Well, it would be odd for a spy to use their own name,’ Nancy said, trying to process it all. ‘And it explains why the private detective couldn’t find anything about you.’

‘Private detective?’

‘I paid someone to research you, but they couldn’t find anything. Now I know why. You don’t look like a Klaus to me,’ she laughed.

‘What does a Klaus look like?’

‘I don’t know, but can I still call you Hans?’

‘I’d prefer Klaus. Hans has bad associations. Apart from with you, obviously.’

‘I’ll try,’ she said. They smiled at one another.