Page 83 of Be Less Panda
‘Colin?’
‘You know. The pigeon with the stumpy foot in the churchyard.’
‘You’re naming the pigeons now?’
‘I thought I’d told you about Colin. He’s got his eye on Martina, but she ignores him. It’s quite sad. I’ve given him a good talking to, but it hasn’t helped.’
Dear god. They’d only been locked down for two days, and it was supposed to go on for at least three weeks. What was he going to be like by then? ‘Mark Farnham, have you listened to yourself?’
‘What else is there to do? You’ve got your job to keep you occupied. I can’t imagine our Instagram fans will want to see photos of the view from this flat. I finished settling up our website yesterday, and I’ve drafted a few potential blog posts ready for when we’re allowed back out into the world again. But I’ve run out of things to do.’ Mark looked deflated. ‘I feel like a spare part.’
Lucy got up and put her arms around him.
‘You’re not a spare part,’ she whispered in his ear. ‘Parts of you are very useful.’ She raised an eyebrow.
‘We’ve done that today as well.’
‘I don’t remember the rule about one shag a day. I can’t imagine Boris signing off on that particular piece of legislation.’ She gave Mark her best come hither look. ‘I could spare half an hour to distract you?’
Mark didn’t look in the mood. He walked away and stared out of the window. ‘I’m sorry I’m so fed up. When I moved in with you, I didn’t expect us to be cooped up in this prison cell all day.’
‘I doubt the cells in Winson Green are as well-appointed as this one.’
‘No, but it still feels like a prison.’
He had a point. Lucy had chosen her flat in the centre of Birmingham’s jewellery quarter because it was near her office and a convenient space to crash after nights out. She hadn’t expected to be cooped up in it 24/7. Two days into lockdown and even she was fed up with it.
It must be worse for Mark. Apart from his lack of a job, he was used to living by the sea. They’d taken a long enough to get back together. She didn’t want to lose him again. ‘I know it’s not what we planned. We were supposed to be sitting on a fancy veranda somewhere in the sun. But what’s the alternative?’
‘I might have a solution,’ he said cautiously. ‘How about we move in with Mum?’
Hmm. Living with her future mother-in-law. Lucy got on with Nancy, but sharing a house with her for several weeks, even one as big as Dashford Grange, had the potential to drive them all crazy.
Mark must have taken her silence as a no. ‘Come on. There’d be more space down in Devon. And it will take longer to get bored of the scenery. If we coordinate our walks, we could even see Jack and Em in person at a distance, so we’d have other human beings to interact with, not just Mum.’
‘But would Nancy be happy with us being under her feet?’
‘If she doesn’t want us living in the big house, we could move into one of the holiday cottages in the courtyard. They’re all empty now. No one is going to be holidaying there until lockdown is over. And once it is, we move out again and go back to touring the world.’
Lucy liked that suggestion. They’d still have some privacy if they were in a cottage. ‘Have you asked her?’
‘No, but I’m sure she’d go for it. She’s not used to being all on her own. Shall I give her a call?’
Ten minutes later, Mark emerged from their bedroom. ‘Are we moving to Devon then?’ Lucy asked.
‘I think we are.’ He looked puzzled.
‘What do you mean think? Surely it was a straight yes or no.’
‘Mum said yes, but she didn’t sound overly keen on having us there.’
‘Well, she has always been fiercely independent.’
‘I know. But I thought the prospect of being completely alone for the next few weeks would fill her with horror. She’s so gregarious. I can’t remember a time when she didn’t have anyone around. Anyway, she says we can have one of the cottages so we don’t get in one another’s way.’
‘That’s exactly what we wanted, isn’t it?’ So why didn’t he look pleased about it?
‘It was a strange conversation, that’s all. Something’s off. When do you want to go? The sooner we can get there, the better, as far as I’m concerned.’