Page 93 of Rescuing Ryder
“I’ll return as soon as they finish,” he assured Claire while holding her gaze. He exited the room and walked down the hall and outside the hospital. Relief flooded him. Ryder knew the road to her healing seemed long and far, yet the euphoria he felt as her saying his name overwhelmed him with joy. When he knew he walked far enough away from everyone, Ryder slid behind a tree and let go of all the grief, anxiety and stress over the last couple of weeks.
Thanks, Gunner. If you can hear me, I know you played a hand in this. Thank you for giving me the one reason not to pull the trigger. I promise I won’t let you down.
Four days later,Claire sat in the recliner, peering out the window. Ryder begrudgingly left for PT with Kassie’s persistence. Samantha and Kassie helped her shower. Samantha used her spa products, and the room filled with the scent of jasmine. Kassie placed new sheets on her bed, Maddie, Edie, and Carol brought her and Ryder lunch, and Samantha gave her hair a salon blowout. She almost felt human. Bryanna sent Saint with a plate of Snickerdoodle cookies. Catherine popped in with a list of things needed when she returned home. They already set everything in motion to ensure it arrived on time. The specialist and Chase agreed she needed to stay a couple of weeks to work on her motor functions and now she dwelled on the rest.
Ryder entered the room as the women finished their fussing. He shot her a smile and frowned when she refused to meet his eyes.
He dragged a chair before her and moved the rolling tray table to the side. “What’s up, Claire?” Ryder asked as he scanned her face.
“Chase says I can return home in two weeks,” Claire murmured. Speaking still required effort, but it became more manageable by the day.
“It’s the best news I’ve heard all day.” He leaned down to kiss her on the forehead. “You don’t seem too excited about the prospect.” Ryder sat, meeting her gaze.
“Chase and Kassie spoke with me about making a rotating nursing staff schedule to stay with me. I don’t feel comfortablewith people coming into my house. I sound ungrateful. Kassie, Carol, and Catherine added their names to the list. Kassie and Catherine work a busy schedule here and have babies to tend to. It’s best to hire an outside nursing agency instead of bothering them.”
Ryder grunted. “It doesn’t seem to me they feel bothered by you.”
Claire peered out the window again.
Sighing, Ryder turned her face to meet his. “What’s wrong?”
“Nobody knows when I’ll regain full control of my body.” She gazed down and felt her cheeks fill with heat.
Frowning, Ryder sat back in his chair, regarding her. “Klein’s mother improves daily. Chase brought up the possibility her advanced age may also affect her progress. You’ve almost caught up with her. If you don’t want strangers in the house, we won’t use them.”
“It’s not exactly a choice.” Claire slowly picked up the glass in front of her. Her hand shook, yet she refused to allow her broken body to win. When the straw hit her lips, she let out a triumphant smile.
“Let’s not beat around the bush, Claire Bear. Something’s bothering you. Do you want me to play twenty questions? I doubt you’ll make it past ten, considering the nurses tell me you’ve stayed in the recliner most of the morning and wanted to eat lunch before returning to bed. It’s the longest you’ve made it. Let’s cut through the bullshit.”
“Ryder, you don’t need to stay with me at the hospital anymore and Kassie kept the cabin for you,” she blurted out.
He ignored her as he rose, pulled the tray before her, and began unloading the food basket. Two portions of homemade macaroni and cheese, a fruit platter, and two slices of French silk pie lay before them. He set up her meal and handed her thecurved fork the physical therapy department gave her to work with until she gained more function.
“Well, I disagree. You’ve experienced nightmares and suffered from panic attacks. Don’t look at me like your friends betrayed you. I’m here all the time and a Navy corpsman. Do you believe I don’t notice you struggle?” he gritted out angrily.
“I know,” Claire admitted.
“Then talk to me, not as your doctor, therapist or any of your medical team. This is between us and I want to know why you’re pushing me away. I’m sure as hell not a bundle of joy to deal with, but we’ve managed to get along. The professional Claire doesn’t work for me. So, place her to the side and let me see the woman I’ve come to know,” Ryder challenged while he pierced his pasta.
“I don’t want you to stay at the house. They don’t know when I’ll gain all my functions.” A tear rolled down her cheek and he brushed it away with his thumb.
“Bring it, Claire Bear. Tell me what’s going on.”
“I’m wearing a catheter; Ryder and I can’t feel everything down there. It’s embarrassing. I know, as a physician, it’s a normal function. You’re not a stranger…It’s different between us. When I come home…”
Ryder rose and knelt beside her chair. He took her hand and held it to his cheek. “We aren’t hiring a nursing crew because you don’t want strangers. You’ll allow your friends to help you. As for me, I’m a corpsman, and I’ve seen everything. And you’ll allow me to help you because if I have to choose between caring for you or not having you with me, I’ll choose you every time.”
Claire sobbed. “It’s different with you. What if it changes how you see me?”
Ryder shook his head. “Nothing can change how I view you. I love you Claire Bear,” he whispered.
Claire sucked in her breath. She focused on raising her other hand and Ryder helped her guide it to his face. She laughed, relieved as he rubbed it against his overgrown scruff. “I love you, too,” she whispered back. He closed his eyes as if he let the words penetrate his mind. Then he opened them to smile at her.
“What do you say about me giving up the cabin and moving in with you? It’s not the usual way of getting to know one another, but I want to be there for you. We’ll figure this out together. Plus, who knows what will happen in a couple of weeks? I say bring it.”
She grinned from ear to ear, feeling stronger with him at her side. “Yeah, bring it.”
Ryder wrapped his hand around her neck as he leaned in, drawing her closer, and gently kissed her.