Page 9 of Triadic
More than a little bit scared, I nodded. "I am."
He knelt, then scooped his arms under me as if it were the easiest thing in the world. "Let's get you out of here, then."
"Bye, Peter," said Florian. "We're going to catch up with Gwion and Schneewittchen."
"Florian, Gabriel, thank you," I said quickly, my chest aching at so many goodbyes after being alone for so long. "Will I ever see you again?"
"You will if you step onto the same path as us, but there's no pressure," Gabriel explained.
"But I don't know what that means," I protested.
He smiled. "You will if that is what your soul longs for. The path finds you. You look down one day and realize you are walking on it and have been for a long time."
That was reassuring. "I hope it finds me, then. Thanks to you both for helping me, and thanks to Gwion for taking my dog."
"See you soon, Ian?" Florian asked.
The angel holding me gave a silent nod.
I watched Ian as he carried me through the muddy forest. The air seemed to get thicker, and definitely colder. From the sound of it, he was now walking over snow. We must be getting closer to the physical world. If it was currently the height of winter and he left me out here, I would be in serious trouble.
Still, I marveled at the guardian angel holding me, or rather the person who was training to be one.
Humans were so selfish, I found it hard to believe that an angel or any magical type of person would ever agree to our desires. But in terms of living, in all its messiness, I guessed a guardian angel would be in line with a human on this. An angel wants the human's soul to get the chance to live and learn, whereas the human is probably just scared of death and trying to delay it, but the result in my case wouldbe the same. If my body could survive it, Ian would deliver me to the barrier of the material world and challenge me to go on and live.
My teeth started chattering from the cold, and with every step, my pain intensified. Indeed, I was getting more and more physically ill, my poor body in agony.
Ian finally spoke. "Here it is. Ready?"
Heaven help me, I wasn't ready, but I had no choice. "J-ja."
"Try to call for help before you pass out," he suggested as I shook in fear.
"Thank you, Ian. Bless you," I said.
He laid me in the snow. "Good luck."
Chapter Five: Corbi
Over the next week, Marit and I made love to each other in our room, just the two of us. It really drove home how some of my insecurities had not yet left me. Wren being gone had brought up all the negativity from my childhood as a son who was sold off by his parents, unwanted except for what money I could bring in. That time was so ugly that looking back, I was glad they had sold me rather than rented me, that at least I wasn't sending them money every month for the rest of my life. It could be that the first medical clinic and later the monastery had refused such an arrangement, but I had never asked.
Yet losing Wren had sent me back to that vulnerable place in my mind, where I didn't think I was worthy of being loved. Marit was there, his fire and courage and brute-force strength ready to cast all that sullen negativity out.
Entering the monastery after a day's work, I gratefully shed my snow gear and then went immediately into the private bath that the medics used. Working with sick people put us at risk of having vampiric entities attach to us, either on the etheric plane of the life force or the astral plane of the emotions. Dying was stressful, and so was living when you'd undertaken a substantial decrease in health. Our spiritual practices banished many of these creatures automatically—the older medics could spiritually cleanse a room just by stepping inside it—but touching patients and using one's own life force to help cleanse theirs was such close contact that vulnerabilities still existed.
My body moving of its own accord while my mind finally took some time to relax. I went through my routine of stripping down and bathing, delivering my clothes to the special laundry basket for the medics. I did my daily spiritual practice, and by the time I'd finished, I'd calmed.
At dinner Marit was sending me a look while Ceridor told us the stories that always entertained us while we ate. I reached under the table and patted Marit's knee in question. He met my eyes and mouthed,Walk, after?
I didn't want to go out into the cold again today, but my partner—I was so blessed to be able to quietly call him that—needed to air something out. I would go for that.Sicher, I confirmed.
After dinner we bundled up and headed into the snow. It had long since gone dark, being this late in the year, as we were rapidly approaching the advent season. We brought a torchwith us, but I still angled us on the path closest to the monastery, unwilling to venture deep into the forest in the cold and dark. Ceridor had been informed of our walk, so if we stayed out too long, he would come looking for us. He always balked at my prescribing him to rest. Such a free spirit couldn't bear staying cooped up.
"What is it,Schatz?" I asked.
Marit's face was barely visible with his knit cap and fur-lined hood pulled down low and the collar of his coat plus his muffler pulled up high. I wanted to hold his hand, but it was much too cold for that. We both had our mitts on, shoved deep in our pockets, close to our center of warmth. Our ears were so heavily and closely wrapped, I could barely hear much else other than the crimping of our boots through the snow.
Marit huffed. He shook his head, then his thoughts burst out of him.