Page 44 of The Red Room
He closes his eyes and bites back a grin. “Unfortunately not.”
Oh, wonderful. Before I thought I was going to be killed by his brother, and now,nowI’m going to die from humiliation. Somehow Viktor’s claws are even less intimidating. I take a deep breath to compose myself, hoping the color of my face hasn’t completely drained to my feet.
“What about all of this?” I manage, gesturing to his empty loft and the club below. “Why would you leave everything you’ve built?”
The lines of his face deepen. “I never wanted this. Any of it. And the longer I stay here, it’s only a matter of time before the little bit of humanity I have left is taken. Not by a full moon, but from my family. If you think Viktor is bad, just remember who raised him. I was lucky enough to know what a monster my father is at an early age, and Viktor will only up the ante someday. I’m sure of it. I can’t be a part of this pack when it happens.”
Imagining someone worse than his brother is damn near impossible. There’s always a cruel, calculated look in his dark gray eyes. The way he practically threatened me not even ten minutes ago. Viktor is dangerous, and yet, there’s something worse out there. Then, I remember the scars on Nik’s torso, the thick, ragged lines beginning at his collarbone and ending at his hip. His father did that to him, and if he’s anything like Nik hassaid, he probably enjoyed doing it. I can’t blame him for wanting to leave. That just leaves one unanswered question throbbing in my head.
Can I leave? Can Ireallygo with him?
TWENTY-THREE
Nik.Nikolai fuckingVostikstares at me, his glowing gold eyes seemingly dulling a shade the longer I stand there in silence. His posture doesn’t scream that of impatience. No, he stands like a man ready to grab onto me. To hold me until yes is the only word I can manage beneath his strong grip. To squeeze the simple word out like toothpaste. But he doesn’t. He waits. Nik waits for me to give him my answer, his hands, the hands I’ve imagined countless times navigating every inch of my body, folded behind his back.
I can’t do this. I can’t utter anything let alone dispel the thoughts running rampant in my head. Yes, he checks all the boxes. Yes, there are some I didn’t even know made the list. But then … there’s the others. Turns into a wolf when the moon is full?Check.Has more than a few monsters in his family tree?Double check.An entire pack that’d sooner see him dead than take on the role of alpha? What in the fuck am I doing? This is an easy decision.No.The obvious answer is no.
Then I stare at him. The hard lines of his face tensing when our eyes meet. His jaw line clenches. His broad chesttightens. Will my decision really destroy this man? Someone capable of hearing things from miles away? Able to follow my scent through the city. Ready to turn his back on his family, his entire life, for someone they say makes him weak? I don’t have to keep looking at him to know. The answer, Nik’s answer, is yes. He would give all of it up in a heartbeat.He chooses me.
He scans my face, his eyes landing on my tightened lips. “It’s not fair for me to ask this of you. I wish we had more time, but—”
“Yes,” I cut him off, ignoring the voices in my head for once. “Yes, I’ll go with you.”
Nikolai swallows hard, fighting against the lump in his throat. “Are you sure?” He’s not chained this time but holds his arms out to the sides as if he is. Nik doesn’t step forward. He doesn’t reach for me despite my longing for him to do so.
Am I sure? No. I’m not sure of a lot of things, but one thing I know for certain is letting him go without even putting up a fight would be the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. My life, my existence, would be no different than it is now. An apartment I can barely afford. Taking pictures of happy couples to pay the rent while the other half of my bed is consistently empty. Tears fill my eyes. Tears and the promise of a life I don’t recognize as my own. For once, the voices in my head stay silent, not daring to argue against me. This is my decision. The metaphorical ball is inmycourt. I can say no and watch the man I am falling for disappear into the night. Or …
“Yes, Nik. I will go with you.”
He doesn’t let a single beat of the music vibrating the floors pass before he’s right in front of me. His arms are on my body in an instant, heating as high as my neck and as low as the small of my back.God, there are no words I can find in the English language to explain how impossibly hot I ignite the very second his skin is on mine. Maybe there’s a word in Russian.Eruption? I’ll have to ask Nikolai later. Our hips crash together, and the latest song thrums through my legs to the spot throbbing between my thighs.
“You’ll gowith me?” he asks, growling the last few syllables.
I tilt my chin up, meeting Nikolai’s insatiable eyes. “Don’t do that.”
Confusion settles on his stern brow. For the very first time since I’ve met him, Nik is the one that’s speechless. It’s as if he has never been questioned before, not by the likes of a human he was bringing to bed. Or in this case, a woman into his vacant loft.
Smirking, I kiss his collarbone, nipping at the tight skin above his chest. “Don’t trap yourself in your own head. Talk to me.”
The bulge in his pants thickens as he presses into me, and the hard ridges of his torso tighten with each kiss I brush along his throat. He cups my face in his hands and outlines my bottom lip with his thumb. “You have such beautiful lips,” he growls. “I’ve never tasted anything so delicious.”
“Then taste them,” I say around his thumb without skipping a beat, raking my hands up his firm chest. My breath hitches as he leans in close, close enough to feel the warmth of his parted mouth.
“These are mine.” He kisses me softly, sending a shockwave down my spine and as far as my toes. Then, Nik slides his hands to my breasts. I arch my head back and gasp to the ceiling. “These,” he continues, biting at my neck. “These are mine, too.”
“Yes,” I moan, pleasure nearly cracking my voice.Fuck. There is no control left. I am merely putty for him to mold in his hands. His rough, gentle hands exploring the parts of my body that want him most. My nipples harden under Nik’s grip,forming sharp points as he squeezes in territorial display. “Yes, those are yours.”
He kisses along my jaw line, bringing his mouth to my ear. “And this …” He runs two fingers up my thigh, stopping at the lace band below my stomach. Anticipation builds in my chest, stuttering every breath I manage to take in. Fuck, I want him to touch me there. I need him to touch me there or my insides might just combust. “This wet pussy—” He cuts off and lowers his voice to a whisper, sliding his fingers inside and over my aching center. “Is fucking mine.”
I kiss him again, invading his mouth with my tongue. His kiss is just as fierce, picking up the pace as he massages my swelling clit. Ecstasy blurs everything, and despite how I’ve used all five senses my whole life, right now, only one seems to be working. His touch, his hand making slow and precise movements, threatens to break me in a way I am ill-prepared for.
Nik brings his mouth to my ear once more. “You. Are. Fucking. Mine.”
I moan again. It’s the only sound I can make while the intense beating at my core somehow raises a decibel. Nik’s words and touch don’t pound at me like a hammer. No, there’s a mallet beating my insides into submission. I’m not sure how much more I can take, not while he skillfully teases my clit. And just as release is within reach, when I’m so close to that primal bliss, he stops. Nik fucking stops and removes his wet fingers from me. I dig my nails into his shoulders and bite back a frustrated scream.
“Say it,” he demands, matching my uneven breaths.
I stare at him incredulously, both of our chests heaving.Say what?I try to retrace his words even though there’s a nagging like none I have ever felt demanding something of its own. There’s a hunger. An insatiable need to have all of NikolaiVostik plunged into me. And while he might be asking me for a few words, I am begging for everything from him.