Page 76 of The Hitman
“I don’t know who it is, but I have some ideas,” I say.
“Just point us in the right direction, boss,” Alfonso says.
“Not yet.”
“Why not?” Giulio asks.
I squint at him through the naked illumination of the hanging light bulb. It’s not the best lighting in the restaurant, and as I age, my eyes can’t adjust as quickly, but Giulio doesn’t need to know that.
“Sorry, boss,” he says quickly. “It’s just that anything could have happened to you while we were away, and that doesn’t sit right with me.”
“Me either,” Alfonso agrees.
“I’m touched by your concern,” I tell them. “I have some ideas, but the best way to make a mistake is to rush in foolishly. My predecessor did it regularly, and that’s how I took him down. I’m going to go down eventually, but I refuse to repeat history. I called you here just to put you on notice. You need to watch what you say and who you speak to. If there’s something I need to know, you come here and tell me in person, and I’ll do the same. This could be nothing, or it could be the end as all things end. Who knows? Be prepared.”
They look at one another in confusion or concern or both, before turning back to me. “Yes, boss,” they say in unison.
“Dismissed.” They stand to leave and head to the back door. “Giulio, stay for a minute.”
He and Alfonso exchange a look. Alfonso has a smug smile on his face as he pushes out of the back door into the alleyway.
Giulio turns to me and straightens his back.
“Are you going to tell me what happened while you were away?” I ask.
“Boss—”
“Is that a no?”
He shakes his head, and I see his internal struggle written on his face. “It’s not about the job.”
“I know it’s not, or else you’d be dead already.”
“Do you ever wish you hadn’t gotten married?” he asks unexpectedly.
“Every day.”
“Was it just Flavia? Or was it marriage in general?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean... I don’t know how to say it. Did you wish you had never been married because you married the wrong person? Or is marriage just horrible?”
I exhale a harsh breath and stand slowly. “Oh. I see what you mean. A few months ago, I would have told you that marriage is the worst idea anyone has ever had. My own parents went from one relationship to another, and they were all the same, abusive spectacles. I decided when I was just a boy that I never wanted to get married. But then I needed Flavia to consolidate power, and we both know that I like power more than anything.”
“I don’t know, boss, you have a soft spot for zeppole,” he says with a soft chuckle.
He’s not completely incorrect.
“Hold on,” he says, squinting at me in confusion. “What changed a few months ago?”
What didn’t change a few months ago?
This room has been sprayed with every disinfectant known to man, but still, sometimes, I can smell her. I can picture her bent over the table. I can see her cunt, wet and gasping, waiting for me. I can taste her on my tongue, and I can feel the sublime release of coming inside her with nothing between us. Everything changed a few months ago. “Let’s just say that I learned that every relationship is about the people who are in it. My parents’ relationships and my marriage were terrible because the people in it were terrible. Other kinds of relationships are possible.”
“I’m not a good man,” he says, with a conviction that surprises me.
“So many aren’t,” I concede. “But there’s a difference between someone who does bad things and someone who is bad. I don’t know exactly where we stand on that spectrum, but I’ve known a lot of really bad men in my life, and you aren’t particularly high on the list.” I decide not to ask him about his time away. “Dismissed.”