Page 13 of EX

“You’ve been off since I got home. Are you pissed that I was gone today?”

“No,” I say. “I’m just… tired. I feel weird.”

“You know what? I’m really tired myself. I’m going to hit that pillow and be gone.”

As soon as Chad says that, my heart jumps. My skin breaks out in goosebumps.

That’s what’s secretly on my mind.

I’m not going to have a conversation with Chad about Corbin.

I need Chad to crawl into bed and fall asleep.

I have to obey what Corbin wants me to do.

It’sdark in the bedroom.

My life is reduced to silhouettes.

A small little bit of light coming from the bathroom.

Next to me, the man I’ve said I love is finally asleep.

At the first sound of that gentle snore, I bite my bottom lip and get to work.

I can’t believe how eager I am for this. My heart is racing but I’m not freaking out. I’m not panicking.I’m not… feeling guilty…

There is a voice in my head that tells me to reach over and grab for Chad.

I can slide his fingers down between my legs and show him what I want. How I want it. I can grab his cock and squeeze it hard. Pump it hard. Hint to him what I want.

Another voice in my head screams and keeps screaming.

I just want to be fucked! Is that so wrong? I want to be tossed around! Thrown around! I want to be used! I want to be… I want…

I swallow hard and ignore that voice.

My right hand eases into the front of my pajama pants, along my soft, warm mound, and between my legs.

I keep myself clean shaven at all times.

I ache for the moment that someone—Chad—will just grab me at a random time and do something. Like when I’m cooking dinner, why can’t he just crouch down behind me, then pull my pants and panties down? Why can’t he tease me and play with meback there… Then turn me around and kiss my mouth. And then…

My hips start to rock as my fingers dip into my pussy.

I’m swollen and very much wet.

I take a deep breath, nice and slow.

I don’t want to wake Chad because he is no longer allowed to be part of this moment.

Plus, if he catches me masturbating, I’m not sure what he’d do.

He’s never seen me do this before. On my own. I’ve never seen him do it either.

For some reason, that seems weird.

Is that wrong? To want to have someone watch me fuck myself? Or to watch someone fuck themself?