Page 79 of EX

“So boring,” I say and force a smile.

Chad grabs his suitcase, then leans down toward me.

He kisses my forehead and walks to the bedroom door.

At the last second he looks back. “Spoil yourself while I’m gone. Have some fun. Maybe you should see if Mary Beth is in town still and have a sleepover or something.”

“Don’t worry about me,” I say.

I feel as though my voice has an ominous tone to it.

If it actually does, Chad doesn’t pick up the hint, or maybe he just doesn’t care.

He leaves.

I end up standing at the window, watching Chad leave.

By the time he starts to back up, he’s already on his phone. A big smile on his face. Laughing. Excited to work.

I really believe there is nothing malicious behind the way he acts.

I think he just assumes this is normal. This is just routine. This is how it goes.

Meet a woman, win her over, put a ring on her finger, keep her home. Marry her, have a few kids, raise those kids, and then call it a life.

That’s not necessarily the worst life to live.

It really isn’t.

It’s just hard to accept that as reality when you have a guy like Corbin in your life.

Corbin may have gone to prison for ten years but he did not leave my life.

Does that make me a bad person? Is it wrong to find something you enjoy and go for it? Everyone has a dark fantasy inside themselves.Everyone.

Mine involves my ex. Mine involves a criminal.

Mine involves a man who is strong enough and willing enough to push me beyond my limits, to show me exactly what I’m willing to handle. The wordnois always in existence but I don’t need it with Corbin.

He has me.

I am his.

And now I will fulfill my commitment to the man who controls me.

I will text Corbin to let him know my fiancé is officially out of town.

I leavemy car at home.

I’m not sure if it’s smart or not.

On one hand, it looks as though I’m home to anyone who may drive by.

On the other hand, if someone stops by and knocks, then looks for me and I’m not home…

I don’t give a fuck.

My phone is disabled, like always.