Page 42 of Scars of the Sun
If she said no, that’d be fine. We’d throw away our trash, and I’d give her a ride home on my bike so that I could feel her arms wrapped around me. And then I’d go home alone, sleep in my bed alone and have the space to remember why this couldn’t fucking work. I was on the run, would be for the rest of my life that was barely one to begin with.
As much as I relished the idea of bringing her into my darkness, just for a little bit, I already liked her too much to do it.
“Okay,” she said, firmly, and I cursed myself while I smiled and led her back to my apartment.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
RAMONA
“Um,” my voice came out raspy, and I took a gulp of the water Río had set on the coffee table beside the eggs and bagel he made for me. “Thank you for all this.”
He came over with his own plate, plopping down on the stretch of floor between the table and couch. “Lose your voice there, Princess?” I almost shot something back, but the way he took a giant bite of his bagel sandwich, looking up at me with messy hair and his glasses on with nothing but cheer and affection, had the barb softening on my tongue.
After we got back to his place last night, Río set us up in his bed with a laptop propped on the mattress with us. We settled on a stupid comedy sketch show that was easy to watch, and before I knew it, I was waking up, head on his bare chest, to the morning light streaming through the windows.
The cute Jaguar that was now lounging at my feet was a far cry from the one that I found myself on all fours for, moaning horsely into a pillow while he thrusted slow and deep.
Río and I ate in silence, watching downtown Antler Pointe awaken for a lazy and hot Saturday. I could already taste the rising temperature and humidity, making me even more awareof my need to shower and change. Río had offered for me to bathe here, that I could borrow clothes of his to tide me over till I got home.
But I’d declined, not wanting to open myself up for questions or to catch a glimpse of my scars in the mirror and pop my own bubble of happiness. I’d nearly succeeded in ignoring the friction between my sleeves and the raised, bumpy skin, until I saw his curiosity while he traced the exact length of the trail I’d taken my knife that day.
He hadn’t asked, so I hadn’t said anything about it.
“I’ve got a double shift today, so I gotta drop you off on my way in.” My thoughts broke and dissipated, ushering in disappointment. But of course, he had work. He’d spent all afternoon and evening with me yesterday, cooking for me this morning.
I nodded, trying to swallow the greedy urge to ask about when I’d see him again. The last thing I wanted to be was his needy… something. Friend with benefits? Lover?
We continued through our breakfast, and the companionable meal and subsequent clearing of the dishes felt more intimate than when he’d dug his claws into my hips. He didn’t have a dishwasher, so I washed our plates and the pan he cooked the eggs in while he got ready for work. He disappeared into the small bathroom, but all I heard was his toothbrush swishing and the faucet going. While I dried the dishes I washed, he emerged, sans glasses, with his hair brushed to a smooth, wavy sheen.
No shower.
I clenched my eyes shut while he bounced up to the loft and got the rest of his stuff for his shift. Sometimes I could almost convince myself that I was all the way human. There was no animal form to tap into or blame for the way I felt with my scent still sitting heavily on his skin. Did other women feel this way?When the person they slept with kept the remnants of them for the rest of the day?
Mom had never appeared possessive over Dad, at least, not in that way. As the provider for our house, as a catch, sure. But I was positive it wasn’t my human half that wanted to tote him around with me, to flaunt him and our scent to all. To bare my teeth at anyone that looked at him too long.
And I didn’t have any fangs, so I’d look like a fucking idiot while I did it.
“You thinking about something really hard, there.” Río palmed my hip, twisted, and pulled me into his chest. I’d been drying the same plate far longer than it needed, but with him in front of me, I easily dropped it to the counter with a clatter. The dish towel followed.
“Mm.” I could clearly see the edges of his contact lenses, and it made me wonder how severely he’d been hurt to cause such an extensive and long-lasting injury. What right, though, did I have to ask about it when I hadn’t been exactly forthcoming about much of anything about myself?
If I did, would it be meaningless since he had no intention of making this anything lasting, anyway?
A kiss right between my eyes halted the familiar, somber path. “Thank you for doing the dishes. You ready to go, Princess?”
I frowned but felt myself relax. “If you get to call me that, why don’t I have a nickname for you?”
He flipped my expression, reflecting back to me how I truly felt when I was with him, underneath all the bullshit that threatened it. “Whatcha got in mind? Daddy?”
Now I was downright scowling. “Fuck no.” His chuckles rumbled and shook the both of us. “Maybe you don’t deserve one, after all.”
“Well, keep thinking. Maybe you’ll convince me to work for it.” At some point, his hands had snaked down to grab my ass, resting as if they belonged there. Maybe they did, at least temporarily.
I reached up and pet the top of his head. “Hmph.Maybeif you’re a good boy, I’ll give you a treat.” My lips trembled as I tried to hide my smile, but the way his fingers clenched on me and the speed with which his smirk dropped then reappeared was confusing. At least until I picked up on the quick, lingering flash of his lust spiking.Interesting.
“Ha ha,” he said dryly, “let’s hit it.” He swatted my ass and grabbed his keys, leading both of us out of the door.
We didn’t speak as he fit his helmet on my head, nor did he ask for directions to the cabin, remembering the way from the first time he’d brought me. Was that only a few weeks ago? Only a small part of me had believed I would be arriving on my brother’s land on the back of his bike again. No way in hell had I thought I’d be doing it after spending the night with him.