Page 44 of Scars of the Sun
My brother had indeed been looking for me, and after I showered and helped Sylvie wash the dirt and debris from her wild mushrooms, Orion scooped me up to run errands. If I was still a little sleepy following my night with Río, I didn’t mention it, all too happy to be moving and doing.
Though we had a personal chef and my mother’s assistant that ran most of the household errands back at my parents’ house, when Iwasdragged into going out and about with Mom,it involved a lot of interrogatory lunches and sitting in luxury stores while she tried on clothes and shoes. So much so that I often hid in my room until she gave up, and when I’d discovered that my peers elected to do the teen version of that, I stopped trying with them, too.
Orion’s idea of ticking things off of his to-do list consisted of picking up enough books on hold at the library to fill a large tote bag, making a Pack Leader house call for an elder that needed his patio railing repaired, and grabbing groceries for the next few days.
Any extraneous words were nonexistent but so was any lick of tension. In my brother’s kind of silence, I could exhale, and in my mother’s I felt suffocated. While we wove in between aisles at the grocery store, we both wore our headphones, in our own worlds and utilizing silent gestures to communicate back and forth. A tug on his shirt sleeve, and he’d follow me to the crackers I liked. Just a jerk of his chin, and I’d know to meet him by the baby stuff.
And after we returned, hauling it all into the house and organizing until everything was in its rightful place, I blinked back my surprise when he offered me a beer and to help him with his newest woodworking project.
Sometime after my niece was born, Orion added a good sized shed he outfitted as a workshop, though I’d never found myself in here before. If Sylvie had her grandmother’s house as a place for solitude, my brother had this place that was outfitted with neatly organized tools, sealants, paints, and a large, sturdy table.
One thing it didn’t have, though, was air conditioning. A large industrial fan blasted and kept the air moving, though it was far from cool.
At two different ends of a crib, my brother and I worked sandpaper in the delicate grooves of the spindles to prepare for staining. Which, apparently, would help it attain thecolor requested by the pack member who’d commissioned this particular project of refinishing their childhood crib for their own pup on the way.
Instead of a record player, my brother had a large bluetooth speaker on one of the tool shelves, and I mouthed along to ‘Grandma’s Hands’ while trying to get the smoothness Orion had instructed me to achieve.
The work was simple, soothing, and I let my mind narrow to that one task while scraping away the roughness of the wood. The tightness in my chest with Río away from me wasn’t nearly as immediate, and the numb gray that was a constant companion was now almost forgotten.
Even when Dahlia and Ollie came stumbling up to the entrance of the workshop, their usually excited babbling was quieted to cute little mumbles. A cool new bug, they announced from where they stood with Dahlia cradling the creature in her palms. Orion paused his task to examine what they’d brought and watched with a smile and with love in his eyes when they ran off toward Sylvie who still sat amongst their toys and snacks near the lake.
But it all was part of the rhythm. More notes played with the sweltering summer song that was a meditation as much as my time with Río was a lifeline.
After finishing one wall of spindles, I set down my sandpaper and took a quenching pull from the tallboy can of citrusy beer that I’d found to be far more palatable than the overly hoppy stuff Orion enjoyed.
I took out my phone to find another few messages from Río who’d been responding to me throughout the day. I frowned at the name he’d given himself in my phone last night, but resolved to keep it for a little while.
Sex God
I guess I’d have to go with Michoacán.
Me
Why there?
Sex God
Dunno. It’s warm. My mom’s from there. You?
I thought for a moment, uncertainty striking me as I tried to think of any place that I truly enjoyed being. But, how could I when my mind followed me everywhere?
Me
Not sure. I haven’t really been to too many places.
I waited for him to have some quip about me being rich, being able to go anywhere I wanted to. Which wasn’t a lie. I’d been to Japan, taken months-long trips to Europe and its most luxurious cities, able to see and experience everything that my or my parents’ hearts desired.
To be truly present, though? To see everything with clear heart and mind? No,Ihadn’t really been there.
“Mona.” I stilled and set my phone down to find Orion glancing toward me while he started on the first spindle of the next side we had to do.
“Hm?” I took the easy way out and lifted my beer to my lips. To partially hide my face and do something with my hands.
He didn’t meet my eyes, but by their general direction of my forehead, I knew that he was looking at me and trying to figure out what to say. All our conversations today had been about the tasks at hand. I’d really been hoping that my brother’s ideaof quality time truly didn’t include pointed conversations, but… maybe it did. “How are you doing? Are you enjoying your time here with us?”
He sounded sincere, but it raised my nonexistent hackles, and I narrowed my eyes at him. “Did Sylvie put you up to this? I’m good, O.”
Orion huffed and shook his head. He continued sanding, no longer looking weirdly formal and uncomfortable. “She did tell me that I didn’t spend enough time checking in on you.” Leave it to my brother to keep it a buck.