Page 72 of Scars of the Sun
“Your mate’s a Lion?” Her purple-tipped pixie cut curled lightly around her ears and the back of her neck, and she was the only person I knew whomighthave had enough tattoos to rival Río’s. Hers, though, were a collection of classic American style that were faded and comforting to look at.
While Wolves could be any gender, any color and size, if I had to envision a female Wolf, I would certainly pick Vera out of a line up over my mother.
“He’s a Jaguar, actually,” I tucked my hair behind my ears before shrugging out of the jacket Río insisted I wear when I rode with him. That’d been the companion gift to my helmet, even ifhehardly wore outer gear himself. When I righted myself, Vera was still staring at me, with that knowing smirk she gave me on the first day I came here. I’d been… barely pleasant. “What?”
She shrugged and stood, meeting me eye-to-eye. With a hand, sure and solid from her work as a tattoo artist, she ushered me inside her home that was becoming more familiar. I was here nearly every day, adding to my rotation through other peoples’ houses that I was slowly putting my stamp on. Each had their own versions of lived-in chaos, but Vera and Lauren’s was by far the most eclectic.
Each room was painted a different, bright color, or contained a sprawling mural, and the coffee table Vera led us to was so splattered in paint, I wondered if it had started that way as a design choice, or if it’d been a casualty that they decided to display.
The color gradient puzzle we’d been working on since the first day my brother dropped me off like sullen child at school was only a quarter of the way finished, and our mess sprawled the entire surface of the table. When he’d told me that heapproached Vera specifically, as he’d thought we’d get along well, I’d been more than a bit skeptical as her mate’s soft-spoken and flowery introductions led us through the house.
When I’d first seen Vera, sitting on the floor as she was now, she’d demanded I help her with the puzzle. Naturally, I’d glanced at my brother, communicating the need to cut and run.
His flat eye roll retorted,Don’t be ridiculous. I know you well enough to not steer you wrong.
My dramatic huff and glare had spoken for itself.
Turned out, though, it was easier to speak about my emotions when my hands were occupied, and the almost mindless task of selecting a piece and trying to find where it fit was something that sifted through the darker thoughts until they more readily became a blip in the back of my mind.
“All right,” Vera drawled as she sat cross-legged and unceremoniously picked up where she’d left off on her side of the table. I put my helmet and jacket down beside me and did the same. Now that we’d long made it through the corner and edge pieces, the rest was very slow moving, but by the whole bookshelf dedicated to an array of puzzles and my own years of unprocessed issues, we had more than enough to work through. “You were saying about your mom.”
I tsked, “Now you sound like a therapist.” The piece I tried was the right shade for the top of the puzzle, but the solid purple hue gave no other clue as to where it might go.
She took a piece that matched the tips of her hair and found a fit near the corner closest to me. “I’m sure you don’t need a therapist to tell you that for most of us, our mothers are our introduction to the world. And for you, your introduction to your Wolf, as well. If she denies hers, it’s no wonder that yours is largely unknown to you.”
Vera had taken one look at me after Orion left on my first day and smiled, pointing at my chest,‘Your Wolf is just as surly as you are. You’ll do fine here.’
“Well, if she’d show herself, it’d be a little easier,” I groused and tried for another fit but to no avail.
Sock-softened footsteps rounded a corner and headed toward us, sound of ice tinkling making my mouth water. Lauren wore a pair of AirPods, as she always did when I came over, and gave us a nod while she deposited two glasses of Thai iced tea on the floor beside us. It was always perfect, not too sweet, and apparently a family recipe Vera’s mom had taught her. I took mine up with a “thank you” while Vera caught Lauren’s deep-toned wrist and planted a kiss while never taking her eyes off of the puzzle.
The chocolate and berries aroma in their home was even deeper than O’s and Sylvie’s—decadesof love that was woven through their scents. To the point that I couldn’t imagine one without the other.
Yesterday, I’d finally told Río about my little trick that I’d learned from Orion, and the confusion then delight that coursed through him when I further explained left me stumbling over my words.
“Aight, what am I feeling now?” he tested me, and I took a long inhale. Dry air like a hot day, the first sip of lemonade, and spiced chocolate and berries.
With a wry smirk, I listed them out, “You’re really hungry and excited. I’d guess because of the new riff you figured out earlier today. And… happy. Content that I’m here.”
He absolutely beamed at me, bringing my head into his chest while we lay in his bed, and kissed my eyelids. “You coulda cheated on that first one since my stomach growled five minutes ago, but well done, baby. Didn’t fuckin’ know it couldbe done, but leave it to you to figure something like this out. I’m proud of you.”
“Just because you don’t have the magic to let her take over doesn’t mean that she’s not with you. Always.Mymother is like you, but she was raised just as her siblings. To acknowledge and honorallparts of her. I wonder how differently you’d feel if you were given that same opportunity.”
“Probably still fucking depressed.”
Vera hummed and picked another piece from the open box. “Are you depressed? Right now.”
“According to my two week grippy sock stay and the Major Depressive Disorder diagnosis, I’m going to go with, yes.”
“Not what I said. I asked if you were depressed right now. Not whether you had depression.”
I frowned and took a final sip from my iced tea before setting it down. I flicked away a drop of condensation that’d dripped on to the puzzle. Was I depressed right now? The episode with my parents calling came to mind, but—since then, no. From gardening, to skating, to hanging out with Delaney, the clouds hadn’t quite cleared all the way, but the pale blue sky was there, too.
“Don’t you think I haven’t been by myself enough to give a true answer, though?”
“You’vegotto get out of that mentality, kid. You do know that Wolves are pack-oriented, right? You think we decide to form these groups for shits and giggles? Wecravenot only companionship but community, too. Did you ever have that before you moved here?”
I hated it when she did this. Pointing out all the obvious holes in my ship that’d caused it to inevitably sink.