Page 42 of Evan
“You should have been a diplomat.”
Her smile flashed. “In order to deal with children of different personalities, you have to be.”
Leaning his head on the cool pane of glass, he closed his eyes wearily.
Chapter 11
“Girl, you are an idiot.” Marsha held up a hand to forestall the protest and explanation she knew was coming. “The guy is running scared, and I never known you to back away from a challenge. I saw the way he looked at you as if you were the only one in the room. You are just giving up?”
“I am giving in.” Cassandra leaned over to pour some more wine into their glasses. They had gone to the movies and ended up at the cottage. It had been two weeks since she heard from Evan and she was trying to tell herself that she was over him, but it was not true.
“How is that different?”
“We don’t belong together, and it would have been a disaster to begin with.” She had kicked off her boots inside the doorway and stretched her stockinged feet on top of the ottoman.
Fall had officially started, with the weather turning slightly icy as soon as the sun went down. She was keeping busy with theactivities they had planned. During the day, she would surround herself with work, but at nights, she was free to let her memories run amok.
“Besides, he has already moved on.” She had given into the temptation of checking up on him and had seen him with a stunning blonde at some movie premiere. It had broken her in two and after reading the article and staring at the glossy photos, had allowed herself to shed tears.
“I think it’s just for show.”
Cassandra sent her a retiring glance. “I doubt that. I still pray for him every night.” Her voice turned wistful.
“I still think you should call him.”
“I can’t.”
“Why on earth not?”
“Because he left and never called me. I waited for a week to see if he was going to change his mind. And more than that, I almost…,” she took a deep breath. “I almost gave myself to him. It scared me that I was willing and eager to give up my principles, just like that.”
“Honey, you are in love.”
“Am I?” She mused, staring into the amber liquid. “Or was it just the thrill of being with a man like that?”
“You know better than that. You are not enthralled by celebrities. You are the most levelheaded person I have ever known. You are not bowled over or impressed by power and wealth.”
“I used to think that, but he was the wealthiest person I have ever known,” she lifted her shoulders in a shrug. “It was a novelty, a thrill, something forbidden and I think every woman,no matter where they are in life, should have one of those moments. He was mine.”
“You don’t believe that and neither do I.”
Cassandra shrugged again. So much had happened during those two weeks. Ingrid was still away, and Pastor William was getting more and more morose. He was depending on her for spiritual support, but she had her own cross to bear. She also knew he was visiting his lover almost every night and it bothered her.
She was not in a position to judge another person, but she strongly believed that a minister should hold himself to a higher account than anyone else. He was God’s messenger and standing behind the pulpit delivering the message each Sunday while sinning should not be happening. But she had no idea what to say to him.
She had not even told Marsha of her suspicions. In the meantime, she had discovered some discrepancies in the account that she was going to have to report to the board.
It was not something she was looking forward to. In the past, she had always been happy, always found it a joy to be part of something so wonderful, but now she was getting disillusioned, and it did not sit well with her. She was unhappy and crying herself to sleep at nights.
“It doesn’t matter,” she said quietly. “There are too many things going on right now, to make it insignificant.”
Marsha gave her an exasperated look. “You have this tendency of putting other people’s problems before yours.”
“That’s just it…,” she shook her head and took a sip of the wine. “Aren’t we supposed to cast all our cares on the Lord? I used to be able to do that. I would come upon an obstacle and shrug it off, telling myself that God will take care of it.
I am His and he promised to take care of me. Now I find that my prayer life is practically non-existent, and I am just merely existing.”
“And you are trying to tell yourself that it has nothing to do with Mr. Tall, dark and handsome.” Marsha shook her head. “I am all for finding someone in church, someone whose beliefs aligns with ours, but I also believe that the heart wants what the heart wants.” Putting her glass down, she stared at her friend earnestly.