Page 35 of Guardian Angel
He pulled her into his arms and held her close. The hug was more for his benefit than hers. In truth, he couldnât stand to see the torment in her eyes.
âI want to tell you something, sweetheart. The first time you tried to leave me . . . when Harry told me youâd left, it threw me into a panic. Iâve never had such a god-awful feeling before, and I sure as hell hated it. Now Iâm beginning to realize that youâve lived with that feeling a long time, havenât you?â
She mopped her tears away with his shirt before she answered. âPerhaps.â
âAnd so you learned how to make it completely on your own,â he continued. âYouâve been teaching yourself not to depend on anyone else. Iâm right, arenât I?â
She shrugged against him. âI donât like talking about this,â she whispered, trying to sound disgruntled and not terrified. âI love you with all my heart,â she added when he squeezed her. âAnd I know you love me now, Caine. Yes, Iâm sure of that.â
Neither said a word for a long while after sheâd made that statement. Jade used the time to calm her racing heart. He used the silence to think of a logical way to ease her illogical fears.
âWhat if we make this a short period?â he suddenly blurted out.
âWhat?â She pulled away from him so she could see his expression. Surely he was jesting with her.
The look on his face indicated he was quite serious. âYou want to make our marriage a short union? But you just told me you loved me. How can you . . .â
âNo, no,â he argued. âIf we just make this commitment to each other for six monthsâ time, if you can just promise me youâll stay with me for that length of time, wonât some of your panic ease away?â
He sounded so enthusiastic, looked so arrogantly pleased with himself. She realized then he was quite sincere in this absurdity. âYou already said youâd never leave me. Now youâre telling me six months . . .â
âI wonât ever leave you,â he snapped, obviously irritated she wasnât embracing his plan wholeheartedly. âBut you donât believe I mean what I say. Therefore, you have only to promise to give me six months, Jade.â
âAnd what about you, husband? Does this promise hold for you as well?â
âOf course.â
She threw herself back into his arms so he couldnât see her smile. She didnât want him to think she was laughing at him. Odd, too, but she suddenly felt as though a weight had been lifted from her chest. She could breathe again. The panic was gone.
âGive me your word, wife.â
The command was given in a low growl. âI give it,â she replied.
âNo,â he muttered. âIt wonât work. Itâs too short a time,â he added. âHell, if I ever forgot, youâd be gone before I . . . I want a full year, Jade. Weâll start from the day we were married. I wonât ever forget our anniversary.â
He squeezed her shoulders when she didnât answer him quickly enough. âWell? Do you promise not to leave me for a full year?â
âI promise.â
Caine was so relieved, he wanted to shout. Heâd finally come up with a way to keep her happy. Heâd just given her the edge he was certain she needed. âSay the words, wife,â he ordered, his voice gruff. âI donât want any misunderstandings.â
The man really should have become a barrister, she decided. He was so logical, so clever, too. âIâll stay with you for one year. Now you must promise me, husband.â
âI wonât leave you for one full year,â he announced.
He tilted her chin up with his thumb. âYou do believe me, donât you?â he asked.
âYes, I do.â
âAnd youâre relieved, arenât you?â
She didnât answer him for a long minute. The truth wasnât at all slow in coming, either. It hit her like a warm bolt of sunshine, filling her heart and her illogical mind all at once. He would never leave her . . . and she could never leave him. The vulnerable childlike feelings hidden inside her for so many years of loneliness evaporated.
âSweetheart? You are relieved, arenât you?â
âI trust you with all my heart,â she whispered.
âYou arenât in a panic now?â
She shook her head. âCaine, I want to tell . . .â
âI took the panic away, didnât I?â
Because he looked so supremely pleased with himself, she didnât want to lessen his arrogant satisfaction. A man had to have his pride intact, she remembered. âYou have made me sort this all out in my mind,â she whispered. âAnd yes, you have taken my panic away. Thank you, Caine.â
They shared a long sweet kiss. Jade was shaking when Caine lifted his head away. He thought his kiss had caused that reaction.
âDo you want to go back upstairs, love?â he asked.
She nodded. âAfter youâve fed me, Caine. Iâm starving.â
He took hold of her hand and started for the dining room.
âDo you know, husband, I have the oddest feeling now.â
âAnd what is that?â he asked.
âI feel . . . free. Do you understand, Caine? Itâs as though Iâve just been let out of a locked room. Thatâs ridiculous, of course.â
Caine held out the chair at the table for her, then took his own. âWhy is it ridiculous?â
She immediately looked disgruntled. âBecause there isnât a locked room I canât get out of,â she explained.
Caine ordered their breakfast, and when Anna, the servant, had left the room, he asked Jade to tell him about some of the adventures sheâd had. âI want to know everything there is to know,â he announced.
âYouâll only get angry,â she predicted.
âNo, no,â he argued. âI promise I wonât get angry, no matter what you tell me.â
âWell, I donât mean to boast,â she began. âBut I do seem to have a natural ability for getting in and out of tight spots. Uncle Harry says Iâm a born thief and liar,â she added.
âNow, sweetheart, Iâm sure he didnât mean to criticize you,â Caine replied.
âWell, of course not,â she returned in exasperation. âThose were compliments, husband. Uncleâs praise meant all the more to me because he doesnât usually give compliments to anyone. He says it isnât in his nature,â she added with a smile. âHarry worries that others will find out the truth about him.â
âAnd what might that truth be?â Caine asked. âThat heâs actually a little civilized after all?â
âHow did you guess?â
âFrom the way you turned out,â he explained. âIf he was such a barbarian, you wouldnât have become such a lady.â
She beamed with pleasure. âIt is good of you to notice,â she whispered. âUncle is very intelligent.â
âHeâs the one who taught you how to read, isnât he?â
She nodded. âIt proved fortunate, too, for his eyes started failing him. At night I would read to him.â
âFrom memory?â
âOnly when there werenât any books available. Harry stole as many as he could get his hands on.â
âThe way he speaks,â Caine interjected. âThatâs all part of his deception, too, isnât it?â
âYes,â she admitted. âAppearances, after all. He doesnât even use proper grammar when weâre alone, fearing heâll slip up in front of his men, you see.â
Caine rolled his eyes. âYour uncle became a bit of a fanatic about his position as leader, didnât he?â
âNo,â she argued. âYou misunderstand. He enjoys the deception, Caine.â She continued to talk about her uncle for another few minutes, then turned the topic to some of her most memorable escapades. Because heâd promised not to get angry, Caine hid his reaction. His hands were shaking, though, with the true need to wring good old Uncle Harryâs neck, by the time sheâd finished telling him about one particularly harrowing incident.
He decided he didnât want to know all about her past after all. âI think Iâd better hear these stories one at a time.â
âThatâs what I??
?m doing,â she countered. She paused to smile at the servant when the woman placed a tray of crusty rolls in front of her, then turned back to Caine. âI am telling them one at a time.â
Caine shook his head. âI mean I want you to tell me one every other month or so. A man can only take so much. I promise you Iâll be thinking about the story you just told me a good long while. Hell, Jade, I can feel my hair turning gray. You could have been killed. You could have . . .â
âBut you arenât getting angry,â she interjected with a smile. âYou did promise.â
Caine leaned back in his chair. âI think weâd better change the subject. Tell me when you realized you love me,â he commanded. âDid I force you?â
She started to laugh. âYou canât force someone to love you,â she said. âI believe, however, that when I read your file, I was already falling in love with you.â
She smiled over the astonished look on his face. âItâs true,â she whispered.
âJade, Iâm not very proud of some of the things I had to do,â he said. âYou did read the entire file, didnât you?â
âI did,â she answered. âYou were determined, methodical too, but you werenât inhuman about it. In every accounting, you were always so . . . reliable. People depended upon you and you never let them down. I admired that quality, of course. And then I met you,â she ended. âYou were a little like McKindry, because you snuck up behind me and stole my heart before I even realized what was happening. Now you must tell me when you realized you loved me.â
âIt was during one of our many heated debates,â he said.
It was her turn to look astonished. âWe never debated,â she said. âWe shouted at each other. Those were arguments.â
âDebates,â he repeated. âLoud ones but debates all the same.â
âAre you telling me you fell in love with my mind first?â
âNo.â
She laughed, delighted by his honesty.
âShouldnât your man be here with us? It might look suspicious if he stays in the country, Caine.â
âSterns never comes to London with me,â he explained. âEveryone knows that. Sterns hates London, says itâs too cluttered.â
âI miss him,â she admitted. âHe reminds me of you. Sterns is most opinionatedâarrogant, too.â
âNo one understands why I put up with him,â Caine said. âBut if the truth were out, I donât understand why he puts up with me. Heâs been like a shield to me, especially when I was a lad. I did get into quite a bit of mischief. Sterns softened the telling, though. He pulled me out of certain death several times, too.â
Caine told her a story about the time he almost drowned in a boating incident and how Sterns had saved him only to toss him right back in the waters to learn the proper way to swim. Both of them were laughing by the time Caine ended the tale, for the picture of the sour-faced butler in full clothing swimming alongside his small charge was quite amusing.
Jade was the first to grow somber. âCaine, did you and your friends come to any conclusions last night after I went to bed?â
âThe man Richards followed home was Willburn. Do you remember Colin told us that Willburn was his director and how he confided in him?â
âYes, I remember,â she replied. âNathan said he never trusted Willburn. Still, my brother doesnât trust anyone but Harry and Colin, and me, of course.â
âColin was wrong, Jade. Willburn did work for the Tribunal. Heâs now employed by the one remaining member.â
Before she could interrupt him, he continued. âWeâre pretty certain William Terrance was the second man. Since heâs dead, and your father too, that only leaves the third. Richards is convinced Terrance was called Prince. That leaves Ice unaccounted for.â
âHow will we ever find Ice? We really donât have much to go on. The letters were very sparse with personal information, Caine.â
âSure we do, sweetheart,â he replied. âIn one of the letters, there was mention that Ice didnât attend Oxford. Also, both Fox and Prince were surprised when they met Ice.â
âHow did you gather that bit of information?â
âFrom one of the remarks made by your father to Prince in the third . . . no, the fourth letter.â
âI remember,â she countered. âI just didnât think it significant.â
âRichards believes Ice could very well be a foreigner.â
âAnd you?â she asked.
âIâm not convinced. There are other important clues in those letters, Jade. I just need a little more time to put them all together.â
She had complete faith in his ability to sort it all out. Once Caine put his mind to a problem, he would be able to solve it.
âRichards put a watch on Willburn. He thinks he might lead us to Ice. Itâs a start, but Iâm not putting my money on it. We have other options, too. Now, sweetheart, I donât want you to leave this town house, no matter what the reason, all right?â
âYou canât leave either,â she returned. âAgreed?â
âAgreed.â
âWhatever will we do to keep ourselves occupied?â she asked with as much innocence in her tone as she could manage.
âWe could do a lot of reading, I suppose,â he drawled out.
She stood up and went to stand behind his back. âYes, we could read,â she whispered as she wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders. Her fingers slipped inside the top of his shirt. âI could learn how to embroider,â she added. âIâve always wanted to learn that task.â She leaned down and nibbled on his earlobe. âBut do you know what I want to do most of all, husband?â
âIâm getting a fair idea,â he answered, his voice husky with arousal.
âYou know? Then youâll teach me?â
âEverything I know, sweetheart,â he promised.
He stood up and took her into his arms. âWhat will we do for music?â she asked.
If he thought that an odd question, he didnât say so. âWeâll make our own music,â he promised. He dragged her by the hand into the foyer and started up the steps.
âHow?â she asked, laughing.
âIâll hum every time you moan,â he explained.
âDonât you think the drawing room will be better?â she asked.
âThe bed would be more comfortable,â he answered. âBut if youâre determined to . . .â
âLearn how to dance,â she interjected. âThat is what this discussion is all about, isnât it?â
She smiled ever so sweetly up at him after telling that lie, waiting for his reaction. She thought sheâd bested him with her trickery. Caine, however, proved to be far more cunning than she was, more creative, too. He followed her into the drawing room, locked the doors behind him, and then proceeded to teach her how to dance.
It was a pity, but she was never going to be able to show off her new skill in public, for Caine and she would scandalize the ton with the erotic, absolutely sinful way he taught her how to dance. And though he was thoroughly logical in his explanation, she still refused to believe the ladies and gentlemen of the ton took their clothes off before they did the waltz.
Caine kept her entertained the rest of the day, but as soon as darkness fell, they had their first argument.
âWhat do you mean, youâre leaving?â she cried when he put his jacket on. âWe agreed that we wouldnât leave this town house . . .â
âIâll be careful,â Caine interrupted. He kissed her on her forehead. âLyon and Richards are waiting for me, sweet. Iâm going to have to go out every night, Iâm afraid, until we finish this. Now quit worrying and tell me you wonât wait up for me.â
âI will wait up for you,â she stammered out.
âI know,â he answered with a sigh. âBut tell me you wonât anyway.â
She let him see her exasperation. âCaine, if anything happens to you, Iâm going to be very angry.â
âIâll be careful,â he answered.
Jade chased after him to the back door. âYouâll rememb
er McKindry?â
He turned, his hand on the doorknob. âThatâs your lesson, sweetheart.â
âWell, you can damned well learn from it, too,â she muttered.
âAll right,â he answered, trying to placate her. âIâll remember McKindry.â He turned and opened the door. âJade?â
âYes?â
âYou will be here when I come home, wonât you?â
She was amazed by his question, insulted, too, and she would have blistered him with a piece of her mind if he hadnât sounded so vulnerable. âHave I made you so insecure, then?â she asked instead.
âAnswer me,â he commanded.
âIâll be here when you come home.â
Those parting words became their ritual. Each night, just as he was leaving, he would tell her he would remember McKindry, and she would tell him she would be waiting for him.
During the dark hours of the night, while she waited for her husband to come home to her, she thought about his vulnerability. At first, she believed she was the cause. After all, sheâd let him see her own insecurity often enough. But she sensed, too, that Caineâs background was another reason for his own vulnerability. She couldnât imagine what his early life must have been like. Sir Harwick had called Caineâs mother a shrew. She remembered heâd also said that the woman had tried to turn her son against his father. It couldnât have been a peaceful time for Caine.
The more she thought about it, the more convinced she became that Caine actually needed her just as much as she needed him.
That realization was a comfort.
Lady Briars sent several notes inviting Jade to visit. Caine wouldnât let her leave the town house, however, and sent word back that his wife was indisposed.
In the end, her fatherâs dear friend came to see her. Jadeâs memory of the woman was hazy at best, but she felt horribly guilty about pretending to be ill when she saw how old and frail the woman was. She was still beautiful, though, with clear blue eyes and silvery gray hair. Her intellect appeared to be quite sharp, too.