Page 44 of Beautiful Noise
“You believe I’m worthy of quality women?”
I groaned. Of course he would push the arrogance. “You’re not a bad person, Ezren, so yes.”
“Then why don’t you feel I’m worthy ofyou?”
I opened my mouth to respond but nothing came out because I wasn’t surehowto respond. Eventually my mind processed enough for me to answer. “I never said that you weren’t.”
“Denying me the possibility to be anything other than yourfriendis damn sure not screaming he’s worthy of my heart.”
My heart?
“You don’t want my heart.”
“How the fuck do you know what I want, Ri? Did you bother to ask? You simply put me in a fuck ’em and leave ’em box and never gave consideration to the idea that even if that was how I moved in the past, I could want something completely different withyou. All you hit me with was you’re a relationship person.”
“Because I am… and you’re not.”
“Icanbe with the right woman. Did you ever pause that random ass overprocessing mind of yours for one second to consider that you might be that woman?”
My mouth opened again then slammed shut. He laughed sarcastically and glanced at the server who arrived with our food. After everything was on the table, and silence consumed us while I forced down my first few bites because my mind was tooheavy to enjoy the savory blend, I exhaled a sigh. Might as well have an adult conversation.
“Do you want a relationship, Ezren?”
Intense eyes settled into my soul. “I want you, Ri. If a relationship is what comes with having you, then yeah, I do.”
“Just because I put you in the friend zone and shut down the idea of casual sex?”
He laughed hard. “Are you really asking a grown ass man who could fuck anyone he wanted from one continent to the next if I’m pretending to want commitment just to fuck?”
I frowned. “No.”
“Yeah you are, in so many words, so let me be clear. I want you and as good as the pussy is, I can press pause on us being physical if that’s what you need to prove I’m invested in seeing what this could be.”
“You’ll date me without sex?” I stared curiously, not believing that this man, this fine ass man who notably had sex with plenty of women, would throw away physical intimacy just to date me.
“If that’s what you need to take me serious, then yes, I will.”
“And what about your music? Sex is how you’re inspired.”
“Did you forget the very relevant detail that you inspired me before I touched your pussy?”
A pussy that pulsed with the reminder of him touching her in such an exquisite way. “That was once and no guarantee of happening again. This is your career.”
“It is, but I’m willing to figure things out. Maybe it’s time I find inspiration in other ways. I’ve done it before.”
The darkness that covered his eyes was loud.His father.
“My life is a chaotic mass of unknown right now. I probably should be investing whatever time I have in deciding what my future looks like.”
“Being with someone who cares about you can facilitate your ability to figure shit out, Ri, and if you say I don’t care about you, I’m gonna go the fuck off.”
I grinned at the scowl on his face. “You can’t save me or fix my life.”
“I could if you allowed me to, but I can guarantee your stubborn ass would elect to dying a slow painful death before you allow me to do so. I’m offering support while you figure your shit out and while I’m supporting you, I want the opportunity to convince you that as unconventional as this would be, I want to try. And just so we’re clear, I don’t fucking try. My usual effort with women is making eye contact long enough to communicate that I want to fuck. I also don’t offer them anything other than my dick.”
I flashed a smile. “What are you offeringme?”
“Access to any and everything, but more importantly, I’m offering you me.”