Page 52 of Beautiful Noise
She blinked several times but didn’t say a word. Maybe she didn’t have a clue what to say but this wasn’t about needinganything from her other than her forgiveness for leaving her open the way I had. Causing her distress, even in the simplest form, was not something I desired. This wasn’t intentional but I was still taking full accountability for my actions.
“You can’t take blame for something that wasn’t your fault.”
“I can and will. You promised to not only give me a chance but to giveusa chance. This hasn’t been a great start. Trust when I say, I’ll make up for it as best I can.”
She exhaled a sigh. “Okay, but for the record, you don’t owe me anything. This is your life, it’s who you are and blaming you for who you are is just as insane as you accepting blame for someone else’s heinous acts. You didn’t leak my information or post about me online…” She frowned slightly. “Did you?”
“Hell no. When I post about you, it will be me bragging on how I convinced your pretty ass that I’m a man you deemed worthy of giving your heart to.”
She smiled and playfully rolled her eyes. “You’re not going to let that go, are you?”
“Not until I’m sure you truly believe I’m deserving.” She had her arms tucked against her chest so her balled fists blocked her mouth. I gently moved them out the way, lifted her chin, and brushed my lips over hers. “Don’t give up on me, alright? I’m gonna figure this relationship thing out. I promise.”
After I kissed her fully, her smile grew wider. “You’re off to a good start.”
I smiled and rolled onto my back to dig my ringing phone out of my pocket. When I noticed Clay’s name as the caller, I turned back to Kori and answered.
“What’s up, Clay?”
“I need a huge favor and before you say no, try to remember all the ways I’ve done you solids in the past.”
“Oh hell nah. My answer is definitely no,” I muttered.
Clay was my man a hundred grand but this sounded weighty and like something I would regret.
“Okay then if not for me, what if the favor was for Leijah?”
“Why the hell would you think I care enough about her that she could cash in a favor? Hell, I’ve already done more than my share when it comes to her.”
The conversation seemed suspect, so Kori shifted away from me, or at least attempted to, but I dropped my arm around her waist and yanked her into my chest.
I gave Leijah a hook and did a feature I wasn’t going to see a dime from. Not that I was worried about the money. My pockets never suffered, not only because I was good at my craft, but also because I never missed an opportunity to pay it forward.
“You said you wanted her to win and she has what it takes.”
“Because she does have what it takes.”
“Then do me, or us, this solid.”
“It’s not a good time, Clay. Things are a little complicated right now…”
“Cleaning Lady Kori. I saw the post and was a little confused by how you let that happen but it proves there’s hope for you.” His tone was laced with amusement, which I didn’t appreciate.
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“You don’t do women, Ess.” I opened my mouth to argue and he added, “You fuck them, yeah, but you don’t entertain them beyond the lyrics they inspire.”
“That’s not true.” My eyes flicked over to Kori, wondering if she could hear his end of the conversation.
“It’s true, fam, and if you want to prove me wrong, tell me the last time you took a woman to dinner that wasn’t set up as a publicity stunt or forced on you by your team as a business meeting. I only know of one person who managed to get that from you and we both know how that ended. To this day she believes she’s the inspiration for your greatest success.”
Shalay.
Stoned Heart.
He had a point with both. I never dated. Never been in a relationship. Never planned to be but I allowed Shalay to present the appearance that I had been and she ran with that shit for years because I didn’t care enough to shut down the rumors about her or what she inspired.
Last night I took Kori to dinner and didn’t fucking care that anyone attached me to her. Part of me wanted people to because it felt like the only way I could have a piece of her. Clay had a very valid fucking point so I changed the subject. “What do you need me to do?”