Page 57 of Beautiful Noise
“What?”
“That goofy ass smile on your face is worth everything it took to get you in here. You love this shit, don’t you?”
“You love your studio, the way you connect, the way it makes you feel, the way your creative side comes alive. I waved a hand in the air. “This is my studio.”
“Then I for sure understand what you’re feeling right now.”
He elected to sit next to me so we were both facing the stage. Ezren leaned in and stole a kiss, just as the crowd erupted inapplause. The performer left the stage, and after a few brief words from the emcee, he was replaced with the next performer. Ezren left me alone until intermission when the band took over the evening. We were on our second round of drinks, so my mood was mellow.
“I love seeing you like this.”
“How are you seeing me?”
“Uninhibited. Unguarded.”
“I’m always uninhibited.”
I hated that I could barely see his face, even up close like we were. Ezren had a beautiful face and I missed having access. I suppose I could be happy that no one recognized him; so we were able to enjoy the evening without interruption. Not even the two servers that brought us drinks took the time to fully take us in. They accepted our orders and hurried away to service other customers.
“Your level of self awareness is subpar.”
“What…” I drew my head back and he grinned sexily.
“You’re the least uninhibited person I know and I know a lot of fucking people, Ri.”
My mouth dropped open and he smiled. “It’s not a bad thing, so reel in the offense clouding your brain. You’re passionate, but serious. Two very good traits but the serious side of you keeps your walls up.”
“Apparently not with you,” I muttered and he grinned.
“No, not with me, at least not now. But it took some effort to climb over that very high wall you hide behind.”
“I’m cautious, there’s nothing wrong with being reserved.”
“I agree but everybody needs balance.”
“I have balance,” I defended.
“You have structure and an impending need to gain your footing after having the rug pulled from up under you. Again, I’m not saying either of those things are bad, but deep downinside, you still feel the need to create an acceptable image. Your parents really have you fucked in regards to your expectations on what your world should look like. Life is short, Ri. If you don’t fucking live, all you’ll have when your time comes are regrets. You’re allowed to be free, youdeserveto be free, and byfree, I mean doing what makes you happy. This shit makes you happy.”
He was right to the degree his words felt like an attack instead of the intended inspiration he was offering. My parents had ingrained expectations and standards in me for the past twenty-six years. Deviating from their plan was hard to accomplish without their voices lurking in the shadows of my mind.
“Happy doesn’t pay bills.”
“It does if being happy is what you’re truly passionate about. I sing, but there are a million people who do the same thing. Some have careers just as lucrative and others only thrive in the privacy of their bathroom showers. You have to take that one thing you’re good at and create a demand for it.”
“I thought I was supposed to be your muse, not the other way around.”
Ezren smiled and shrugged. “My goal is to be all things to you. If that means being your inspiration, then I will inspire the fuck out of you.”
“Okay, we’re back to fill your beautiful souls and minds and it looks like we have a special request. Several actually…”
My eyes shot to the stage to find the emcee for the evening standing in front of the microphone. He had a relaxed posture and pleasant smile on his face. His eyes were low which I attributed to the potent aroma hovering since we entered SipLicity.
“There’s been whispers that we have a savant amongst us this evening…”
Shit.
My eyes darted to Ezren who appeared unbothered when he should have been grabbing me so we could make a quick escape. Someone recognized him.