Page 88 of Beautiful Noise
I already sensed where this was going. I recognized Shalay, Instagram model turned influencer and reality TV star. Also one of the many women he had been linked to. She was one of the few who could be classified as beingattachedto Ezren. A handful of dinners and events with her on his arm sealed the deal. I had no doubt he slept with her, especially given the entitlement she was presenting.
“A part of his life and how about we skip the ‘he was mine before he was yours’ debate. Everyone has a past, you might be a part of his but I’m his future.”
She laughed, rolling her eyes. “Sweetheart, he was never mine; just like he will never be yours. Eccentric doesn’t belong to anyone. That’s not his thing. I will say I’m surprised you’ve lasted this long. I’m impressed but don’t get too comfortable. I’ve been there before and at least I know my time was priceless.”
I smirked and moved closer. “If being fucked for inspiration makes you feel priceless, then I applaud your efforts.”
“Not justinspiration. Without me, he wouldn’t be where he is. What Iinspiredwas his best work.Stoned Heart. Nothing has compared since. I mean they’re good because he’s amazing but well, you get my point. Good luck competing with that, boo.”
I barked a laugh, partially because I was a tad bit tipsy, but mostly because she was delusional. “Is that what you believe?”
“It’s what I know.”
“Continue to exist in your insanity.” I turned to walk away, annoyed that she was taking credit for the inspiration behindStoned Heart. The album was a reflection of Ezren’s love for his father and the devastation he felt from losing him. It was disrespectful to his father’s memory that she would attach herself to something so emotionally weighted and devastating.
“Insanity? You’re the one existing in delusion. I gave him something no one else can and you will never be able to measure up. Fucking the help will only get him a clean house if you’re even good at that. I gave him a legacy. Check the timelines, boo. It all adds up. My time with him and the music.”
“If you want to believe that, then ball the fuck out, sis. It’s sad and amusing just like this desperation you’re showing. Since you so badly wanted my attention, you’ve got it. Here’s my advice. A man that wants you doesn’t have to be chased; he does the chasing. You’re here trying to convince me that my man wants you. I’m not the one you need to present your case to. If you want to know your relevance in his life, get in line.” I pointed to wherehe was standing. “I’m sure he’ll be more than happy to give you the five minutes you want so desperately to feelseenagain.”
Her eyes narrowed. “I don’t need him to give me a damn thing but he needs me. I gave himStoned Heartand when he realizes nothing compares, he’ll come back around.” Her eyes swept my body. “Because I can promise, you don’t have what it takes.”
“Yet you’re threatened enough to be in my face.”
“Girl, go find something safe to do. You can’t do shit for him that hasn’t already been done and done well.”
“Nah, you got that shit fucked up.Youcan’t do shit for me that hasn’t been done.” The low rasp of Ezren’s voice met me just before his arm circled my waist. “Stoned Heartwas never about you, Shalay. The entire fucking album is about my father, but you know that, don’t you?”
I tensed at his confession. He’d never openly admitted to the worldStoned Heartwas about his father. I didn’t want him doing so to appease me about a delusional woman from his past because she didn’t fucking matter.
“Ezren…”
His glare remained on Shalay who kept her poker face. “If you need to lie to her…”
“Am I lying?” he demanded in a low, arctic tone and her expression dropped. She could lie to me but not to him. “Yeah, that’s what the fuck I thought.”
Regardless of being called out on her shit, she managed to find some confidence. “Fuck you andher. Have fun slumming it.”
“Nah, I’m good on the past.”
She glared at me like I was the one who started this shit then flipped him a bird before pushing through the small crowd that had eyes on us. It wasn’t until then that I realized some were recording the exchange.
My eyes lifted to his and I felt the conflict. He’d just admitted to the world whatStoned Heartwas inspired by. “You didn’t have to…”
He grasped my chin and planted a soft kiss. “It’s fine. Let’s go.”
As he took possession of my hand and led me out the club, I felt the tension in his body. His energy was off. It had been years, but emotionally Ezren was still trapped in that dark space, and he had just admitted to a club full of people that his most emotionally charged and top-selling album wasn’t about a woman. It was about his father. The truth could potentially ruin the image that catapulted his career.
We left the club in silence. The drive back to his house was filled with quiet tension and when we got there, his mood was still detached which felt so much more profound considering how close we had been lately. I wasn’t used to being on the outside and it felt incredibly lonely.
“I’m sorry about tonight.” His dark eyes met mine as he entered the living room where I was waiting after he locked up and set the alarm.
“You didn’t do anything wrong. Don’t apologize.”
“I just feel like…”
“Ri, I’m good. We’re good. At some point they would have found out.” He cuffed my face and lifted my eyes to his before his mouth met mine. The kiss was soft, loving, but also reserved. “Get some rest. I need to work on some shit in the studio.”
My heart sank but I nodded and didn’t argue. If he needed space, I would give him space. After I stripped out of my clothes, I showered and climbed in bed, feeling even more separation because he wasn’t here with me. The bad thing about loving someone was their pain was just as much yours and there wasn’t a damn thing you could do about it.