Page 13 of All Your Pain
I can feel my orgasm so close but just out of reach, all I want is to ignore it but I can’t and my words tumble out. “It’s just—I don’t know. It all feels like too much. Too much inside me, too much all over me. Every time you touch me, it’s like there’s an intense heat burning inside me. I want to—I need to come…but I can’t. I can’t! I won’t!”
Dean’s forehead rests on the back of my shoulder as he listens to me and when he whispers,“good girl,”into my ear my whole body short circuits.
My muscles spasm uncontrollably and I want to tell him to make it stop but I know he can't. This is my own undoing.
If hell exists then I’ve just bought a first class ticket straight there because this is the most incredible thing I’ve ever felt.
Just as my orgasm recedes, he comes inside me, filling me up just like he promised he would. He’s a man of his word at least.
When he finally pulls out after hours of being inside me, my body trembles violently. He holds me close and traces patterns over my skin until the shock starts to wear off and I’m left feeling numb.
“What a perfect start to the day,” he mumbles against my temple and I do nothing. My mind and body have detached from one another. I can’t move or speak, I’m not even sure if I’m blinking as I stare vacantly ahead.
At some point I feel him move away and the loss of his heat makes my skin go cold.
Slowly, I come back to my senses and I hear the shower running. I manage to force myself to sit up. My pussy throbs but this time it brings no pleasure.
I should have fought him off. I should have done anything that wasn’t just lying there and taking it.
Whore.My dad's voice pops into my head and I shake it away.
No, I’m not. I didn’t get a choice.
I hear my name being faintly called and I blink realizing Dean’s sat next to me, his hand brushing my cheek. Weakly, I push him away and he lets me.
I try to get my mouth to work to say something, anything but I just stare at him. It hurts that I still like the way he looks after what he’s done to me.
“You need a shower,” he says and I blink slowly.
A shower sounds good but not here, not with him. I look down, away from his face and realize he’s naked. We both are. That should bother me but I can’t bring myself to care.
From here, I can see more white and pink marks on his body. There are so many scars on him. I want to know what happened to him to make him the way he is but if I asked he’d probably just lie to get me to feel sorry for him or maybe just hurt me for even asking.
Still, that’s a lot of old wounds which means he’s been through a lot of pain. I hold my hands between my legs so I don’t end up touching him.
Then I shake my head.
“Yes, Willow, we both do. I’ll wash you then get you some breakfast. Your stomach keeps growling at me.”
It does? I can barely register being hungry or the cramps that my stomach makes as it tries to eat itself.
“No,” I manage to say but my voice sounds far away. “I want to go…” nothome.I don’t have a home. If I leave here I’ll have nothing.
My last bit of money was spent on that stupid hostel and now I’ll have to live on the streets once I escape. Still that’s better than being here with him. Or is it? Maybe him killing me will be better than dying slowly on the streets.
“When will you do it?” I ask and Dean frowns at me. “When will you kill me? I want to know.”
His whole face darkens, his blue eyes no longer having their usual sparkle and his jaw clenches tight.
“Why do you have such a death wish? You’re meant to be begging for me to spare your life, not welcoming its end.” He stands up and reaches for his knife from the bedside table and I flinch.Was it there all along?I don’t remember.
I squeeze my eyes shut and wait for the first sting as it bites my flesh but there’s only a tug as he cuts my bindings. Blood flows back to my hands and feet making them tingle. I quickly try to stand hoping to fight my way past him but my legs turn to jelly and he catches me.
“When the time comes for you to die it's because I've chosen it not because you've asked for it.”
“I hate you,” I say as he carries me to the bathroom and he chuckles.
He sets me down on a thin marble bench in the shower, it's big enough to fit multiple people in so at least I can have some space away from him.