Page 68 of All Your Pain
I just need…him.
Maybe I should take this as a sign to leave?
I’ve already decided that if I ever end up leaving here without Dean then I’ll just make myself disappear. I can’t go back to my dad’s and I could never tell anyone what Dean’s done. The thought of him being arrested leaves me feeling sick to my stomach.
I force myself downstairs to get something to eat and I tell myself that if he doesn’t come home tomorrow then I’ll just find a way out of here and quietly disappear.
Late into the night, the low rumble of a car engine wakes me up. With my heart in my throat, I sit up in bed and listen closer. A door closes with a dull thud and the weight I’ve been dragging around with me since Dean left disappears in an instant.
Dean’s finally home.
Grabbing a hoodie, I pull it on over my clothes and head to the door. But then I hesitate as an uneasy feeling creeps over my skin.
What if something happened to Dean and it’s not him downstairs?
Slowly, I turn the handle and poke my head out enough to listen for anyone but the house is silent.
“Dean?” I call out, when I reach the stairs. Something doesn’t feel right and it’s putting me on edge. I’m about to go back to the bedroom to hide when I hear the front door open followed by a heavy thud.
Swallowing down the lump in my throat, I head downstairs. The door's wide open, letting the brisk night air in. As I step closer, I see a figure lying motionless on the floor.
“Dean?!” I cry out, forcing my body to move faster. “Dean?”
He’s lying on his front, his face turned to the side, his eyes shut and I can already see how pale he is from here. “No. Dean. Youcannot die on me, you asshole,” I start to sob. As I roll him onto his back, he makes a small murmur.
“Oh, thank god. Dean, can you hear me?” I lean over him and listen to his heart, it's beating faintly but at least it’s beating. I start to search his body for injuries and my hand touches something warm and wet on his side.
“You don’t get to die on me! Not after everything you’ve put me through. I refuse to let you go so open your eyes!” This needs to be some elaborate trick, a mind game to make me see how much I need him but the blood on my hands is all too real. If I don’t help him then this might actually be it.
I’m not ready to say goodbye to him.
I search his pocket for his phone and with a shaky hand, I hold it over his face to unlock it.
Who do I even call?
I lift his shirt to get a better look at the wound but there's so much blood I can’t see how big or how deep it is. As fast as I can, I pull off my hoodie and hold it firmly over the area.
If I call an ambulance the police will get involved but there must be someone he goes to when these things happen. I remember he mentioned a doctor before when I had to stitch him up.
Looking through his call history I see the most recent one was to Bones, the friend he was supposed to be with tonight. He seems to be the person he’s in contact with the most so I press call.
He answers on the third dial.
“Miss me already?” A smooth voice says that I can only assume belongs to Bones.
“Please, help me! Dean's hurt. I think he’s been shot or stabbed, I'm not sure. He's not moving, I don’t know what to do!” I ramble out breathlessly.
There’s a short pause before Bones finally responds, “shit, okay. Does it look like the bullet's gone straight through?”
“Umm, I’m not sure, I think so, it looks like it hit his side. There’s so much blood.”
“Okay, just keep pressure on it. I’ll call ahead to the hospital, you call for an ambulance, as soon as I hang up.”
“But the police,” I quickly say before he can end the call. “Won’t they—,”
“I’ll handle that, just take care of him.” Then he hangs up.
It feels like hours before the ambulance arrives. I don’t leave Dean’s side until I have to go open the gate with the keys from his pocket.