Page 76 of Broken Pieces

All the pieces are falling back into place, but there’s just one thing left I need to know. “Why did you have your bag packed tonight?”

“Because I wanted to leave with you, you idiot!” She snaps, rearing her head back. I shove Mad off me and he sits back on his heels.

She wanted to…

Shit.

I’ve been so blinded by my pain and the twisted ideas I conjured in my head, that I didn’t think she would ever actually come to the decision to be with us on her own terms.

I sit up, shaking, with anger? Relief? I’m not sure what this feeling is. All I know is I can’t bring myself to look at her. Not after I’ve fucked up so badly.

“Vi, come on, let’s go take a shower together, warm you up. Give Max some time to himself.”

“No! We can’t keep avoiding this conversation. You’re not hearing me. I was ready to be with you. I’ve always been ready. I was just too scared to do it by myself. Back then, if you had told me to stay, that we could make it work, I would have. But you didn’t want me!” My eyes snap up to meet hers as she looks between both of us.

“What are you talking about? We’ve always wanted you! I thought we made that clear. Before we even knew what that meant, when we were kids we adored you. The cute, little blonde that looked so much like us, that followed us around like a shadow. We liked it, we fucking loved it. Tell her, Mad.”

I look to my brother for help to make her understand, but all he does is silently nod.

“Then why did you push me away?” She asks quietly as she looks straight at Mad. Fresh tear tracks line her cheeks. “I wanted to be there for you. For both of you. But it broke my heart.”

“What did, sweetheart?” I ask.

She looks confused. “You didn’t want me. Maddox pushed me away, told me to leave. I thought neither of you wanted me. I couldn’t come back and hurt you again, either of you. I’m so sorry, Max, it’s all my fault what happened to you. I never should have ran, I got scared because I love you. I’ve loved both of you for so long, but I thought you didn’t want me. You kept pushing meaway.”

“Violet, we didn’t tell you to get on your knees that night for no reason. We didn’t come to pick you up from that party because we didn’t want you.” I get to my feet and stare down at both of them.

“But both of you kept acting so differently before that.”

Mad gets to his feet and helps Violet to hers. He wipes the tears from her cheeks then says, “We’re family, Vi, it’s not like we could just parade down the street hand in hand. We couldn’t touch you like we wanted to, couldn’t kiss you or tell you what you meant to us. We were scared that if we told you what we really wanted to do to you, you’d run. Then you did and you nearly died because of it.”

“Then why did you tell me to leave?“ She sobs as she looks into Mad's eyes. “If you wanted me so badly…”

“Mad, did you really tell her that?” The bat I’ve been clutching, like it’s my last lifeline, slips from my fingers.

“I…I don’t remember exactly. I was messed up, you were still in the hospital and I guess I may have said something like it.” He stares at the ground as he talks, like he feels too guilty to look me in the eye.

“It doesn’t matter now,” Violet says, giving me a soft smile. “I’m here with you both again.”

“Of course it matters! Mad, we tell each other everything.”

How did I not realize?

Fuck, I should have known there was something he wasn’t telling me.

“You wanted to punish her for leaving, when you’re the one that told her to go?” My thoughts are spiraling down into dark places again, dragging my happiness away with them.

“I wasn’t thinking straight!” Mad clips out.

“You knew that she might end up hating us after we bulldozed back into her life!”

“Please, stop arguing! I don’t hate you, I love both of you. I want to be here.” Violet places her hand on my arm, on my scars and I shove her away with too much force.

She stumbles back, her feet getting tangled up in the sheet wrapped around her. As she tries to right herself, she trips backwards and lands on the wooden steps leading up to the cabin's porch. Her head bounces off the top step, with a loud crack and she cries out in pain.

“Vi!” Mad runs to her without a moments hesitation.

Flashes of her covered in blood, her screams ringing in my ears, all fill my head. I blink them away as ice cold terror starts to grip at my chest. I’m back down in that darkness again, lost and alone. Not knowing what’s real anymore.