Page 28 of Always on My Mind
“I don’t think there’s a ranking of the quality of each country’s lesbians, Colm,” Jim said.
“There should be,” Colm said gruffly.
Tessa rolled her eyes. It was going to be a long afternoon, indeed.
Eventually, Tessa did confess to her family that she and Jamie had a confrontation at the house warming. She left out her thoughts about how good Jamie looked dressed as Posh Spice, though. Only that nothing had changed.
“Ach, love,” Mary Ann said, sympathy in her voice as she took Tessa’s hand and squeezed it. “I’m sorry.”
Tessa shook her head, tired of the pitying expressions from everyone around her. “I’ll be fine, Ma. Honest.”
She wondered if she should tell her mother about the past lives too. Did Mary Ann even believe in such a thing? Tessa wasn’t sure. But she witnessed such a strong love from her parents, there was no way they weren’t soulmates too. Was it their first time? Or had they loved each other in several lifetimes? Did you only get a second chance if the first one didn’t work out? Tessa didn’t know the rules, but perhaps she could pay Lila another visit and find out.
“You’re always fine, Tessa,” Mary Ann said, drawing her daughter from her thoughts. “I want you to be blissfully happy.”
Tessa swallowed, unsure if it was possible for her without Jamie. “I’m sure I will be.”
The lie sat bitterly on her mouth hours later as she got ready for bed. Her family had gone to their hotel and Niamh was in her own room, presumably asleep after a long day at training. Tessa pushed the clothes hanging in her closet to the side and crouched down, her right arm extended. After shoving a few pairs of shoes aside, she found it. An old England National Team jumper Jamie had left there after their breakup.
Tessa pulled it in close to her chest, bringing the collar up to her face and inhaling deeply. A faint trace of Jamie’s scent lingered, and it was enough for Tessa’s eyes to well up, flooded with memories of their time together. Jamie holding her close as they drifted to sleep. Jamie laughing as they watched a movie on the couch. Jamie coming up behind her and wrapping her up in a hug as they prepared dinner.
Tessa sniffled. No matter what she told herself, the truth was she wasn’t over Jamie. And knowing what she did about their past lives, she was certain she never would be.
Chapter 9
The floor swayed beneath Jamie’s feet. She squinted as she gazed ahead, fixing her eyes on the single light source yards in front of her—a lamp giving off a yellow glow that hardly pierced the smothering darkness. A warm breeze curled around her, carrying the salty scent of the ocean with it. She could hear the waves lapping at the vessel she stood on. She took a determined step, seeking something. . . someone. . .
Another woman appeared on the opposite side of the deck, and Jamie’s heart leaped with relief. There she was! Finally, they could escape together.
Hardly aware it was her own mouth moving, she called out. “Verity!”
The other woman turned her blonde head, and Tessa’s familiar brown eyes (sans glasses) tethered to Jamie’s gaze. “Abigail.”
Inwardly, Jamie questioned everything. Why had she called Tessa Verity? And why was Tessa calling her Abigail? Why werethey dressed in corsets and more skirts than anyone should be wearing outside of a Renaissance fair?
“I’m sorry I’m late,” Jamie heard herself say. “But I thought one of the watchmen spotted me so I hid myself away until I was certain he was gone.”
“It’s alright, you’re here now.” Tessa/Verity took her hand. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
“Of course. If we made it to Jamestown, there would be no way for us to—”
The groan and sway of the ship cut Jamie off. She pulled her lover closer to keep them steady until they were right again.
“The men have bought and paid for us to be their wives. There would be no way for us to be together.” She reached up and cupped Tessa/Verity’s cheek. “I would rather depart this world together than face a lifetime apart.”
A tear escaped Verity’s eye when she blinked. Jamie, with Abigail’s soft hand, wiped it away with her thumb. Together, they hauled themselves up to the side of the ship, grasping a rope for the last semblance of balance. Jamie’s stomach lurched with the pitch of the ship, and she held her lover’s hand harder.
“One last kiss?” she offered. If this was to be their end, she wanted to feel those lips before she met it.
Verity pulled her close and captured her mouth in a fiery kiss as the wind whipped their hair and skirts around their bodies. Bodies they would soon surrender to the sea.
“I love you,” Verity whispered in Tessa’s distinctive voice. One that Jamie could recall on her nights in Manchester when her flat seemed to swallow her whole.
With timid, tearful smiles, and their hands clasped, they threw themselves from the ship and into the inky black water.
Jamie shot up, gasping for air. Panting, she looked wildly around her bedroom, blinking away the image of the water rising above her head. Her bedroom came slowly into focus—its emptywalls and basic furniture more of a comfort now than it had been when she first arrived. She brought her hand to her sweaty, cold chest, her fingers still tingling with Tessa’s touch. Or was it Verity’s? Something told her they were one and the same.
She shook her head.