Page 46 of Dangerous Mission
And the only damned solution is to drown myself in her nectar.
Fucking mother fucking hell.
Forcing myself to swallow, I stare at the one thing that could bring me down.
Her.
Not a bullet, not burning alive, not all the chaos and nightmare of being on active duty for all those years didn’t destroy me.
But this…
Is not happening.
Aria is not happening. For the love of all sanity. I am not kissing a woman that I can’t and won’t touch.
Ineverkiss women.
Rule number one in the Scout Silas playbook: no kissing because kissing leads to touching.
Rule two: no touching with hands or mouth.
Rule three: Orgasms will happen.
Supposedly, I can fuck like a goddamned pornstar according to the women I’ve had. They didn’t complain about any of my demands or my rules.
It’s simply a mutual release. Contractual in a way.
Nothing more.
That’s how sex clubs work. At least the ones I belong to.
The kind of place that Aria would never step foot inside.
She’d be horrified.
Worst of all, the thought of seeing her look at me with disgust in her eyes would break me.
I’m never going to see that expression on her facebecause she’s never going to find out about my stupid fucking hangups.
I step back a few paces from her and train my eyes on a spot beyond her shoulder because I’m not man enough to look into her eyes any longer.
“I’ll go get Griff’s gear set up. You find the doc and get that clearance. Eat something for fuck sake.” I warn, “You try to get out of it, I’ll know.”
Aria doesn’t move.
Hands fisted on the curve of her hips, she stares at me. My skin feels every second of her narrow-eyed scrutiny.
“What just happened, Scout?”
More than you’ll ever know.
An admission of how fucked up I am. How my life will never be the pretty happy-ever-after that my teammates have found.
The realization that I’ll be seventy-five—god willing my dick still gets hard—and fixing my carnal needs with a woman’s body that will never know or care to know my name, or know anything about me beyond the fact that I’ve got a big cock and know how to use it.
Damned depressing.
Yeah.That’s my life.