Page 79 of First Surrender
I busy my hands tidying the plates and napkins to avoid looking at him as he comes into the kitchen. “Ladies, thanks for bringing your boys over. We appreciate it,” Jackson greets them. The formality makes me want to laugh.
When he passes behind me toward the sink, I feel his lips on the top of my head at the same time his hand brushes my waist. His whole body stills for a nanosecond as he does it as if he realized that he shouldn’t have. My body is on fire regardless.
Not only did he openly touch me in front of these women, but now they’re staring at me while he washes his hands in the sink, avoiding their nosey gazes. I have to clear my throat before I can speak. “Are you hungry?”
“Always for you,” he replies casually, making me squirm internally. He is backing me into a corner with the gossip committee and he doesn’t even realize it. “I think I’ve gained ten pounds since she moved in with me,” he says directly to our audience, ignoring my side eye begging him to shut it.
They all collectively look at his still perfectly flat stomach, aside from Sienna who is becoming my new best friend. I don’t miss how he phrased my living situation. I moved in with him, not that he offered to let me and my brother stay here because we were homeless.
“Here you go.” I shove the plate into his hands.
“Thanks, sweetheart.” My jaw slackens. “Let’s go boys, I have Nerf guns in the back of my SUV.” He ushers all the kids outside, leaving me to the wolves.
“Oh my.” Kelly fans herself with an empty dessert plate while Maryanna pouts and watches him out the window.
“Yeah, you guys are so hooking up,” Jennifer states boldly.
I choke on the soda I was drinking as a distraction. “We are not.”
“Something is going on. I bet you’ve kissed. Ugh, I bet he is an amazing kisser,” Kelly croons.
My mouth is opening and closing like a fish out of water.
“What’s it like? Come on! We’re living vicariously through you,” Maryanna begs.
I don’t know if it’s because I want them to like me or because I want them to know that I have kissed him, but I decide to spill a little while they all stare at me in amazement. Even Sienna looks like she has hearts in her eyes.
When all of the kids and the moms have left besides Charlie and Sienna, she insists on helping me pop all the balloons. I spent so long blowing them up that I never wanted to touch them again, so I accepted her help graciously.
Dec blindsides me while I’m straightening the pillows on the couch, snapping a candid photo of me. “Where did you get that?”
“Jackson got it for me. He told me how to use it and everything. Said I could take pictures of anything I want and he’ll get me a new one when it’s full.” He holds the disposable camera up to show me, waving it like a maniac.
“Wow.” I can’t even begin to express what that means to me. My brother has no idea of the giant green flag we just waved in front of my face on Jackson’s behalf. He is going to make sure Dec has memories.
“Can Charlie stay the night? Please, please!” Dec begs.
“Uh. I don’t know, we’d have to ask Jackson.” He’s outside picking up Nerf bullets and I don’t know how to remind Dec that this isn’t our house without bursting his bubble.
“Dec how about you come to our house, yeah? That way your sister can relax after throwing you the world’s best party.” Sienna offers, looking at me for confirmation.
“Are you sure? You just had him last weekend.”
“I’m sure, Dec’s a great kid. Plus, I know you’re doing it all alone. I’ve had my parents to lean on after Ray died. I know how it feels to need a break.” Her husband passed away a few years ago from cancer. She doesn’t talk about it much, but I can tell how much it’s affected her.
“Okay, if you don’t mind. Thank you for everything, really.”
“Take the night to figure some things out.” She nods toward the back patio where Jackson’s igniting his propane firepit. “Life’s too short to miss out on things because you’re scared,” she tells me thoughtfully as heat rushes to my cheeks.
Dec says goodbye and they pull out of the driveway, leaving me to my thoughts. Life is short but what if I make a huge mistake? I could put myself out there and be crushed. And then potentially homeless. No, God. Jackson wouldn’t do that. Why can’t I ever give him the benefit of the doubt?
Hopped up on too much cake and a little bit of adrenaline, I change into my new favorite bed attire before joining him outside. “Can I sit with you?” I ask from behind him.
“Of course.” He turns to look at me and his eyes widen a fraction when he sees me in just his t-shirt.
His gaze stays heavy on me as I force the nerves away and sit on his lap instead of the chair beside him. His hands settle comfortably, one on my hip and the other around my waist, cradling my body against his naturally, while my legs dangle over the armrest.
“Thank you for showing up today.” I melt against his chest, hoping he can’t hear my heart beating.