Page 47 of Bedlam

“You’re Spade? Cartel Enforcer?” She asks, tilting her head as she takes me in.I’m so fucking confused.

“I don’t understand why you’re acting this way. You know who I am. We’ve been together for months, and oh plot twist, we’ve been married for years.” I spew, and she gasps. Ryder steps in, trying to diffuse the situation.

“I’ve spent the last month thinking you were fucking dead. Your brother even buried you. Then you waltz in here like ahurricane, and you don’t remember me? Is this some type of sick joke?” I say as my anger slowly rises.

“I-I don’t know what you want me to say. I don’t fucking know you.” She says, shock written all over her face. I take a step back like someone shot me in the chest.I can’t even look at her.

Spinning for the back door, I wretch it open and run as Ryder screams my name, but I don’t stop until I trip and fall down the hill, damn near slamming into the tree we buried the dogs under.

Fuck. She’s alive?! She doesn’t remember me?Why doesn’t she remember me?I think that hurts more than her actually being dead. To have her within arm's reach and her not have a clue what I meant to her is the worst kind of pain I have ever felt.Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

thirty-three

Caged

Jameson

It's been a week since I’ve seen my father. The prick left me in this fucking institute with all the looneys. According to Dr. Petrova, my newest therapist that wants me to talk about my feelings,I threatened him with his own pen.She’ll learn soon enough that I don’t talk about feelings. Get fucking bent, Doc, I just want out of here.

Being locked up was never part of the fucking deal. I was to be his lab rat, and that was it. As usual, he fucked me over and I want answers. I’m sick of spending my days walking around and yelling at the voices who won’t shut up. They taunt me at every waking moment, wanting me to unleash The Carver, but something inside my heart won’t allow it.Almost like I’m too afraid to give in.

At night, I’m strapped to the bed no matter how hard I fight, only to be left drugged, horny and blindfolded. I’m notsure who's behind the depravity of this place, but I know from personal experience they keep all the looneys compliant by taking advantage of them through drugs. Making them feel good, while getting off with no trace of who’s to blame.

“You know exactly who you can blame.”

“It's the same person, time and time, again.”

“I don’t care, I just want Carver to come play.”

“Fuck all of you. The Carver is not coming out. Give it a rest.” I say to myself as I walk down the hall of this extremely cold building. My name being called has me stopping in my tracks.

“Mr. Jameson, sir. How art thou today?” Lolli says, giving me a little curtsey, which makes no fucking sense. Her white-blonde hair is tied up by red ribbon in pigtails and her face is painted completely white with red clown paint over her eyes and mouth. She thinks she’s creepy looking, but she’s not.She’s a fascinating little creature. Guess The Carver will always live within me and there’s no fully shutting him off.

“I wonder what she tastes like.”

“Can we have her blood? I bet it's sour.”

“You should stick your dick in her. She’s batshit just like you.”

I shake my head, trying to get rid of the thoughts. “Shut the fuck up.” I say and Lolli’s eyes widen as she dances around me like a ballerina.

“Oh, the thoughts talk to you, too? Mine follow me around and it's annoying as fuck. I can’t do shit alone. Not even take a shit. He just stares and I want to scream.” She giggles and I just look at her, watching how graceful she is on her toes.

“Jethro doesn't like you. He wants your fingernails.” She giggles as I continue to walk.

“Yeah well, tell Jethro the feeling is mutual and to get fucked.” I say, and she stops abruptly, stomping her foot on top of mine.

“Goddamn it, Lolli,” I growl and she crosses her arms over her chest.

“You take that back, right now!” she yells.

“Oh, look, you upset crazy pants.”

“Always a disappointment.”

“Just kill her already. This is getting boring.”

“Shut up!” I yell and she curb stomps me again, causing me to grit my teeth.