Page 51 of Fate of the Fallen
Not even me.
***
Liam
She was nowhere. Like she’d been wiped clean off the face of the Earth.
Only … I knew that wasn’t so because the tug at the center of my chest said otherwise. It’d been the only thing that kept me from losing myself completely after a full week since she’d been taken. It’d been the only way I knew for sure Nick hadn’t gotten to her. However, we were on borrowed time in that respect, with Sebastian thinking it was a bright idea to hold Evangeline anywhere near the Liberator.
“We’ll find her.”
I paused, glancing up from the bag I packed to find Elise watching. Her eyes were rimmed red and there were dark circles underneath them. A week not knowing where her daughter was had been almost as heart-wrenching as it had been for me.
Almost.
I didn’t respond because I was honestly out of things to say. Sebastian’s witches had done a great deal to keep Evangeline hidden from me, to keep our connection severed. I hadn’t slept in so long I was delirious, unable to form a coherent thought as I went over the night again and again, wondering how I let this happen.
Wondering how I failed.
Elise stepped closer and took a seat as I shoved a flashlight into the side pocket. She was quiet at first, and then decided to say more.
“It’s not your fault,” she insisted, speaking kindly as if wanting to avoid offsetting a trigger. “I’ve listened to you explain it to my boys, to Dallas, and there was nothing else you could have done. Evangeline took off because she thought she could help, thought it was the right thing to do, and the Sovereign exploited her heart’s weakness,” she explained. “If we’re to be angry with anyone, it’s Sebastian. Not ourselves.”
I heard her, loud and clear, but there wasn’t much she could say to convince me this wasn’t on me. Therefore, I didn’t deserve to be made to feel better. I needed to carry this pain and frustration at full force and use it to push me to find her.
I scoured the area all day and all night, every day and every night. We’d even been back to Ridge Borough several times, to the warehouse, hoping we’d find her, or at least someone we could torture an answer out of, but … no one.
Every time, we came up empty.
I’d opted to spend nights out in the woods. Not only was there no time for sleep, I also couldn’t imagine lying in my bed without her, knowing she was out there somewhere. I patrolled mostly, keeping an eye out for some of Sebastian’s rogue soldiers or witches who might wonder into the area looking for trouble. If they crossed paths with me, they were sure to find it. There wasn’t much I wasn’t willing to do to bring her back.
Hiking the bag onto my shoulder, I moved toward the stairs, taking them by two as I headed toward the front door. I had every intention to leave without responding to Elise’s statement, but when I reached the foyer and her fingers linked around my wrist, my respect for her forced me to stop and listen.
“I only want to know that you have a plan,” she sighed.
I didn’t look her in her eyes because that deep stare reminded me too much of Evangeline’s.
“My only plan is the same as it’s always been—I’ll find the bastards who took her, and then … I’ll kill them. End of story,” I seethed. “But I don’t have time to talk. The guys are still out there searching and the Stokes’s are on their way. I only came in to re-up on supplies before the sun sets, so …”
“I understand that, but … what happens next, after you’ve found her? What of the soldiers? The witches? More specifically, the one who cast the spell on the weapon that injured Ivan?”
She threw all these questions at me and I knew she was right to worry about the execution of our plan. However, I wasn’t exactly in the right frame of mind to answer. I was unhinged to say the least. Every thought in my head was dark, every feeling was of causing someone pain, so, no, I didn’t have the details worked out.
“Liam,” she pressed, “I’m asking for your word that you aren’t just roaming around out there from sunup to sundown like some madman with nothing to lose.”
“Thereisnothing left to lose!” I shouted. “Not anymore. The one thing I did have to live for has been taken from me …again, Elise. So, no, having some mapped out script to follow isn’t exactly top priority at the moment, because all I can think about is her. All Iwantis her,” I breathed, feeling like I’d reached my breaking point.
When I slumped and took a seat on the bottom step, Elise didn’t let my outburst push her away. She knew me like she knewallher children and, instead, sat right beside me. She knew the one thing that could make me come undone at the seams was her daughter, and that was the exact effect this week apart had on me.
Her hand was warm against my back and it was only somewhat comforting. It was nice to have her sympathy, but changed nothing.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly. “Dallas mentioned you all had done some strategizing during your search last night. I just thought that … maybe you’d come up with a way to settle things once and for all.”
She was tired—tired of worrying about her family, tired of having to question who could be trusted. I understood that because we shared the same sentiment.
“I might have a solution, but I can almost guarantee you won’t like it,” Dallas cut in, surprising Elise and I both when he stepped into the foyer.
“What do you mean?” Elise piped up, turning to face him now.