Page 107 of Never His Girl
“It’snothinglike it was with Parker,” I answer.
“Hm,” she says thoughtfully.
I think back to my night with Southside, and don’t realize I’m smiling a little until Casey calls me out on it.
“What’sthatabout?” she asks, gesturing toward me with her spoon.
At first, I start to dismiss the question altogether, but she already knows so much. Thanks to Pandora.
“Dropped the ‘L’ word for the first time last night,” I confess.
“Like, first time withher?Or first time ever?”
“Ever,” I reveal.
Her mouth falls open. “Damn. Itisserious.”
I nod, knowing‘serious’doesn’t even come close to describing me and Southside. That girl has me knee-deep in feelings I didn’t even know I could have.
“Well, I’m ecstatic for you. I hope you know I mean that.”
Her stare lingers a bit after speaking, but the cheeky grin she wears is starting to fade.
“Anyway,” she sighs, “what’s the plan for next year? Your girl attending NCU with you?”
“Nope, Cypress Valley.”
“Cool. Still super close,” she concludes, which I don’t disagree with. Having Southside at a school within ten miles is the next best thing to having her right on campus.
We enter a stretch of silence that’s not so much awkward, but it’s enough that the reality of how Casey and I are connected creeps back into this space. Sitting before me now, she’s notably less carefree than I remember, sort of withdrawn. I’m wondering if she ever really bounced back. There were some dark days to face after the decision she made, and she chose to face them alone.
That phone call from her is one I’ll never forget, hearing her cry uncontrollably into the receiver, questioning her worth, her sanity. She vented to me about things I don’t even think she meant to share. Because, despite our circumstances, we weren’t close. At the time, we hadn’t known one another long enough for that. I was just the guy she’d been careless with, and the result tied us to one another in unexpected ways.
“You’re really okay?” I ask when I feel like I have to.
She focuses after snapping out of a daydream, putting on a weak smile I’m starting to think is just a mask.
“I am,” she insists.
“Being honest, I’m not always,” I admit, feeling no shame in saying it.
Her gaze lowers then, as she spins her mug aimlessly on the surface of the table.
“I’ve made peace with things. Mostly, because I understand there wasn’t any other way. I did what was best for both of us,” she concludes, finally meeting my gaze again.
Things go quiet between us, like they were a moment ago, and there’s no sense in beating around the bush at this point.
“I’m sure you know I didn’t come here just to catch up.”
She nods and her gaze shifts toward the frosted window again. “Kind of figured that.”
Being up front about shit is still new to me, so I have yet to master the art of finessing my way into a conversation. So, until I get that right, I just kind of blurt things out as they come to me.
“The night of your nineteenth birthday party, do you remember talking to Parker? Telling her what happened between us?”
Casey’s dark eyes flash toward me and she nods. That’s when I see the guilt in them.
“I fucked up,” she admits. “I should’ve called and given you a heads up, but I just—”