Page 150 of A Little Secret
“Sh…” He sits on the edge of my bed and rocks me back and forth like I’m a child. I’d find it ridiculous if I wasn’t falling apart so completely. But dammit, this hurts. It hurts so much. I can’t breathe. I can’t think. I can’t do anything but succumb to the pain and the knowledge that there isn’t anything in this world that will take it away.
“I knew my body was broken, you know?” I cry. “I knew I was fucked, but I didn’t think…” I sob even harder. “I didn’t think it would betray me like this.”
“Fuck, Fin.” He slips his hands beneath my shirt, splaying his hands along my bare skin as he pulls me even closer. “Your body’s perfect, Fin. Every inch of you is perfect.”
“It’s not, though.” My voice cracks. “If it was perfect, I wouldn’t have epilepsy. I wouldn’t need my medication. I wouldn’t have lost the baby.” My body shakes in his hold. “I’d still be pregnant, and we’d still be in this together, and?—”
“Wearein this together. Do you hear me, Finley Taylor? I’m not going anywhere.” He squeezes me even tighter, practically melding my body against his. “I promise I’m not going anywhere. And I promise we’re gonna get through this, okay? You and me.”
I let go, my chest wracking with sobs until my throat is raw and my eyelids are heavy.
And then, when it’s too much, I slip into oblivion, the steady beat of Griffin’s heart lulling me to sleep.
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
GRIFFIN
Isent a text to everyone when we were at the hospital. Everett helped spread the news, too, offering to stay at the cabin with Raine for the night so Fin could have some space. After Fin fell asleep, I carried her to bed and called my parents. My mom cried. My dad asked if I needed anything. I didn’t know what to say. I still don’t know what to say.
You be the man my baby needs.
Uncle Mack’s words filter through me, acting like a beacon. Like it’s the only thing I can hold onto. The only thing I can trust.Be the man my baby needs. Fuck, I’m trying. But it’s hard. I’m so used to fixing things that not being able to is a special kind of torture. One I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
As the morning light slips through the window, a soft knock echoes from the front of the duplex, and I slip my arm from beneath Finley’s head. We’ve been awake for an hour, but she hasn’t moved. I think she’s afraid to. Afraid she’ll see more blood. More evidence of the baby we lost. She scared me last night. Telling me to leave. That I shouldgo home. The words were like a dagger to my sternum, but I know her better than that.
Knock, knock.
My eyes feel like sandpaper as I rub at them and climb out of bed. “You want company today?” I rasp.
Fin shakes her head. “Not today.”
With a nod, I step into the hallway and toward the front door. A suit comes into view through the side window, making me freeze until I force my body to move.
The hinges squeak as I open the door. “Uh, hey.”
Uncle Henry and Aunt Mia stand on the porch with a bouquet of Gerber daisies.
My chest cracks even more, and I reach for the flowers. “I assume you heard about the baby.”
Uncle Henry sighs. “We did.”
I give a slow nod, my fingers digging into the edge of the door to keep me from falling on my ass and crying like a little kid.
“Do you mind if I…?” Aunt Mia’s voice trails off as she peeks around me toward Finley’s room.
“She doesn’t want company,” I murmur.
“Totally get it. How about I put these flowers in a vase, then we’ll be on our way?”
“Uh. Yeah. Sure,” I concede.
“Perfect.” Aunt Mia slips into the kitchen and begins opening cabinets in search of a vase.
Numb, I turn back to Uncle Henry on the porch. “Thanks for stopping by,” I mutter. “I’ve, uh, I’ve actually been meaning to call, so…”
“Yeah?” His brows lift in surprise. “About what?”
“About the position,” I continue. “Now that, uh, the baby’s gone and everything, it looks like you can give Ev the spot, so…”