Page 94 of Rise of the Queen

“See? Always a reason,” he said, winking at me again.

Adrik sighed. “If Viktor decides this is too much, then we’ll deal with it when it happens. Until then, I don’t think it’s worth obsessing over.”

It was three days before anyone saw Viktor again. He completely disappeared the night Ilya came to the penthouse. No one could reach him. He didn’t tell anyone where he was going. He didn’t tell anyone that he was okay. He just vanished.

The guys knew he was back the third night, only because they saw light under his door when they all went back to their apartments for the evening. They were all so irritated with him that they left him alone. If he wanted silence, they would give him silence.

Ivan did let us know that he was back.“There’s a light on in his apartment. We could all see it under his door, but no one went to check on him. No idea if Ilya is still with him or not.”

“Thanks for letting me know, Ivan. I’m still not sure how I’m going to handle this one,”Adrik responded.

“Yeah, I don’t envy you on that one,”Ivan said.

Adrik sighed, clearly stressed about what to do with Viktor. On one hand, we all knew he was struggling. On the other hand, he essentially deserted his duties, which he’d done before. Again, for good reason, but this was now a pattern.

Adrik had climbed into bed first while he waited for me to finish up. He was rubbing his face in his hands when I climbed on top of him, straddling him.

“I think it’s on him,” I said, quietly. “He’s either going to accept everything that’s happened or he’s not. If he does, then we can figure out what to do. If he doesn’t, then he’s free to leave. This is a lot and I understand that. But I’m not begging anybody to stay ever again.”

“I still think he’ll stay, but he needs to decide. He can’t keep running away from the decision. Once he decides, then the outcome will be much easier to determine,” he said, pulling me to him. I rested my head on his shoulder while he wrapped his arms around me, always grateful for the moments of peace that I so readily found in his arms.

Viktor and Ilya were both in the kitchen the next morning when Adrik and I walked out. The rest of the guys hadn’t made it upstairs yet. I caught myself wondering if that was on purpose or just a coincidence.

Viktor stood up, taking a step toward Adrik. “Boss, I need to apologize. I didn’t know what to do, so I ran. I was worried about Ilya too. I wanted to get him away from everything until …” he trailed off, like he didn’t want to finish the thought.

Adrik, in his usual silent way, didn’t respond right away. Even though Viktor knew his tactic, it was still effective. He continued talking. “I also owe you an apology, Sephie. I’ve been avoiding you because I knew you’d force me to deal with things I wasn’t prepared to deal with. Turns out I didn’t need to worry about you,” he said, trying to smile at me.

I looked at him for a few moments. He still looked troubled, but he looked better. I glanced at Ilya, who looked nervous, but he actually looked much better than the first time I saw him. He caught me looking at him, but he looked away quickly, almost like he was embarrassed. I looked back to Viktor, asking, “You fixed him, didn’t you?” Viktor’s cheeks flushed, but he nodded his head. “Good. It would’ve killed him.” I looked at Ilya. “If you’d like to give me the name of the girl, I’ll happily kick her assfor you. And I’m going to say this, even though you’re probably going to think I’m crazy at first, but she wasn’t entirely human. Consider yourself lucky you got away from her when you did.” His eyes went wide as he glanced to Viktor.

Viktor just laughed. “She could probably tell you your life story after she shook your hand the other night. I didn’t tell her anything.”

Ilya looked at me again, saying, “I feel bad for the way we met last time. I didn’t mean to cause any problems.”

“You shouldn’t feel bad. You needed it to happen, so it did,” I said, leaning against the counter after putting the coffee on.

Adrik walked to me, pulling me against him. “You’re going to have to decide, Viktor. You can’t keep running from the decision,” he said, matter-of-factly.

“I know, Boss. No more running. I promise. I saw what it did for Ilya,” Viktor said.

“You’ve technically seen it twice now. The question is, do you believe it now?” I asked.

Viktor chuckled. “I do.”

“Have you talked to the guys yet? You know they’re irritated with you. Mostly because you lost your temper with Sephie,” Adrik asked.

Viktor looked at me, obviously remorseful. “I know. I talked to them this morning before we came up here. They’re giving us time before they come up. I’m sorry I got angry, Sephie. I didn’t understand that you’d felt everything that Ilya was feeling. I just saw Boss’s and Ivan’s eyes and freaked out when they locked in on Ilya.”

“I mean, you wouldn’t have stood a chance against those two. No offense, Ilya. I’m sure you can hold your own. Just not in that situation,” I said. “I understand.”

I felt Adrik sigh. “I need to know that you’re all the way in on this, Viktor. Whateverthisis. If you want out, that’s fine. You’re free to go and no hard feelings. But if you stay, then you’re all in.”

I watched Viktor before he answered. There was still doubt there, but it was much less than what it had been. I could still feel the sadness he’d been carrying around since his wife and child were killed though.

“Don’t answer, Viktor. You’re not allowed to make a decision yet,” I said. He looked at me, surprised. “I need you to ask Kostya to fix you the same way you fixed Ilya before you decide. The sadness and the grief that you’ve been carrying around for years have become so integrated in who you are that you almost don’t know life without them now. You can’t make important decisions when everything is clouded by grief. I felt what you’ve been dealing with. I had to go to very extreme measures to be able to get rid of it. Ivan might not be able to see anything on you, but that doesn’t mean it’s not there. You have a cloud you need to be rid of before you can decide, and we all know there’s only one soul that can fix that.”

Viktor was quiet for a moment. Adrik said, “She’s right. From the morning after you left with Ivan until the night she met Ilya, her eyes stayed amber and we could all feel the sadness from you through her. She couldn’t shake it. She feels everything intensely, but she also has remarkable control. She couldn’t shake this. She’d get moments of relief, but they were just moments. You need to be rid of that too. It’s okay to let go. You don’t love them any less by moving on with your life. I think that’s what Kostya has been trying to help you with all along.”

Ilya stood up, walking to Viktor. He quietly put his hand on Viktor’s shoulder. “They’re right, you know.” He glanced to me and Adrik, trying to silently tell us he would take care of it.“Come on. I’ll be there the whole time,” he said as he pushed Viktor toward the door.