Page 102 of Anti Player
The afternoon drags on and my mind is all over the place, but I know what I have to do. I need to stay in New York. It’s the right decision for my son and he comes first, and the culinary school here will provide me with great opportunities and connections. It will be a way for me to secure my future in the city. Still, by the end of the afternoon I haven’t replied to either school. I can’t bring myself to make a final decision.
We end up staying at Rebel’s for dinner. The kids are completely wiped out. Some of the kids are sleeping over at her house and Liam asked Asher to stay too, but we have a flight tomorrow afternoon so I tell him it’s for the best that he comes home. I receive a mopey face from my son, but it doesn’t last long because he falls asleep in the car on the way back to Brett’s apartment.
I try to shake him awake, but he’s out cold. I lift him over my shoulder, which is no easy task. I wobble my way to the elevator.He’s too big at this point for me to be carrying. We head upstairs in the elevator. It stops in the lobby and Kaleb gets on.
“Oh jeez, let me help you,” he offers, and he lifts Asher out of my arms. Asher lays his head on Kaleb shoulder. He holds him in a much better position than I was, with Asher’s legs wrapped around Kaleb’s waist.
“I’m going to miss him,” Kaleb says, and it looks like he holds my son just a little bit tighter.
“He’s going to miss you too,” I reply. I can’t exactly tell him I’m going to miss him, and I am completely in love with him when I promised that wouldn’t happen.
“You guys are leaving tomorrow afternoon?” he asks.
I nod. “Looks like it.” We stare awkwardly at each other, and I wonder how we went from not being able to keep our hands off each other to staring at each other awkwardly.
We arrive to our floor and Kaleb helps me get Asher to bed.
“Where’s my brother?” I ask him.
“He went with the guys for dinner, I wasn’t really up for it.”
I follow Kaleb to Asher’s room, and he lays him on the bed gently and I pull the covers over him.
Silence falls between us. Then Kaleb takes a step toward me and we are kissing, it’s hungry and angry. I rip away from him.
“Not in here,” I say.
“I can’t do this,” Kaleb says, and it feels like a slap to the face. But it’s when he turns and walks away, leaving straight out of the apartment, that he takes my heart with him.
CHAPTER
TWENTY-EIGHT
Kaleb
I don’t know what is happening to me but I’m panicking. I had planned to send Maddie a text message today, asking her to meet me at the hotel where we first made love. I had planned on this big grand gesture when I found out she was at Rebel and Wolfe’s place having a goodbye party. Wolfe told me I should still go through with my plan since Asher was well taken care of, but my anxiety is gripping me by the throat. What if she doesn’t return my feelings? I don’t think I could handle being rejected by the one person I’ve trusted all along. I’m pacing in my apartment, holding on to the strands of my hair, feeling like I’m going to lose my mind, and it’s all because I am terrified of losing Maddie and Asher. They are leaving tomorrow, and I won’t have a chance to say how I feel. I need to get my shit together. I sit on the couch and take slow breaths. When I didn’t follow through with my plan for the hotel, Wolfe told me to join the guys for the day boating. I did but my mind was elsewhere, and I know Brett saw it. He kept asking me if I was fine, and I assured my friend I was, because how could I tell him I was lying to him this entire time? I not only didn’t keep Maddie at a safe distance, I went and fell madly in love with her.
I can’t let her leave without her knowing how I feel, but at this point it’s too late to meet her at the hotel. Brett is out for dinner with the guys and Asher can’t be left alone. Yet I know I need to do something drastic. My palms are sweating and my heart is racing, and all I know is I can’t lose Maddie. I need to put my feelings out there. If she doesn’t return my feelings, then at least I won’t be left in limbo. I think her rejection may hurt more than my own mother’s because I should’ve expected mom’s rejection. People like her don’t change. But Maddie isn’t Mom, she’s kind and has the best heart I know. I go to the bathroom and throw some water on my face. Then I take a deep breath and head toward my apartment door and pull it open, and when I do, she is standing there looking worried.
“Maddie?”
“I came to check on you,” she says.
“I’m sorry,” I sulk. “Is Brett back?”
“No, I called Ellie, Syd is still awake so they are hanging out at Brett’s place for now,” she explains. “I was worried.”
“Shit, I’m sorry.”
“What’s going on, Kaleb?” Her brows draw together and her lips look all pouty, but it’s the look in her blue eyes that makes my heart stutter.
“We should talk. Please come in,” I say. I’m over being worried about Brett.
She walks inside and I close the door. I head over to the main area of the apartment and she is behind me.
“Are you mad at me?” she asks.
“I could never be mad at you, Maddie,” I reply.