Page 44 of The Guy Next Door
It reminds me of our conversation about our mental health, about those moments when our minds turned on themselves. Knowing what a struggle it was, I hate that anyone else had to go through shit like that too.
“I’m glad to see it’s not that way anymore.”
“Me too. I used to be a lot more active, and not only with that either. I’d go out to parties with friends. I was in a few clubs. Then I came home after the mental-health facility, and I was in such a fog. I remember going to the library and looking at book covers just to do something…anything.”
There’s a rush of adrenaline, my body alerting me I need to probe. “Which library?”
“Chelsby Hill, over near Hamlet Mill.”
“Really?” It’s the first connection I’ve made to Mike since Leif and I started chatting.
Could be nothing. It’s a small city. There were likely plenty of places Mike and Leif could have frequented, and I wouldn’t know it. No need to make a big deal.
But now that he’d said it, my gut instinct can’t disregard it, even if the connection was only in my head. I don’t bring it up to Leif, though. No need to freak him out over what’s probably nothing.
I quiet that voice inside me, fearing it’s the same one that wanted me to hound Mike’s poor teacher.
Although, a creeping fear tells me it isn’t.
And that I have work to do.
11
LEIF
Ipace aroundthe house in my sweatpants and socks.
Last night was fucking everything!
I’m still reeling from the high of having Zane’s fingers in me, working my body like I was his fucking sex puppet. There’s no way he can realize what he did to me by showing me that. And being so patient. So considerate. Dedicated to ensuring it was a mind-blowing orgasm.
I can’t believe he was the guy to introduce me to that part of myself.
Even as we shared dinner after, all I wanted was for him to show me what else he could do with his hands. His mouth. Even that cock.
Imagining the things he’d do to me has got me leaking in my sweatpants.
I pull my phone out of my back pocket for what must be the dozenth time since I woke up, reading his last text from the night before.
ZANE: Thanks again for filling my belly.
A smile tugs at the corners of my lips as I start to text again:So…you wanna hang toni—
No. It’s too soon.
Keep your cool.
Although, I don’t know how the hell I’m supposed to play cool now that I’m so fucking curious, and Zane’s the only one I want to help me figure this out.
I try to distract myself by making a quiche for breakfast, making it bigger than I normally would so there’ll be plenty for Zane for the next few days.
As I’m stirring the egg and veggie mixture, my phone buzzes on the counter.
I’m already smiling as I pick up my phone, frowning when I see it’s a message from Dad:Your mom and I can come home early! Should be there this evening. We’re free! *crying emoji*
I should be thrilled, not just to see them, but knowing they’ll get a break from Linda. But the excited wave that pulled me to the phone collapses into a pit of disappointment. Looks like I’m gonna have to put the whole sexual-exploration thing on hold.
Accepting my fate, I finish the quiche and then pick up around the house throughout the day, and when Zane messages, I tell him the news…but don’t mention how desperate I am to get together with him again.