Page 84 of The Guy Next Door
A vibrating sensation in my belly—that word still has an effect on me.
“Speaking of my boyfriend,” he adds, “there was something I was thinking about while we were sledding. You and I never really had a date.”
“We’ve spent plenty of time together.”
“No. Like a real, live, I-take-you-out-and-show-the-world-you’re-my-man kind of date.”
Again with that feeling in my belly.
“I like the sound of that.”
“Good, because I was thinking, if the snow clears up enough that they’re open, we could hit up the Wyachet Nights of Lights tomorrow night.”
“I haven’t been.”
“Good. We can see the lights, grab some hot chocolate, maybe hop on the Ferris wheel.”
“I’d like that,” I say, gazing into his beautiful brown eyes.
We make out some more before taking a much-needed nap. About an hour later he returns home, and I start catching up on work, still reveling in the beautiful day we shared, and thinking about tomorrow night.
Throughout the day, it was easy enough to let go and enjoy my time with Leif, but as soon as he leaves, once again, I’m checking out the surveillance feed on the computer monitor, dragged back to the real world, one that isn’t only about Leif and me.
One where he’s still in harm’s way.
I take a sip of coffee, trying to cling to our day, but it seems the more I try to hold on, the faster it escapes.
Guilt courses through me. How can I allow myself to enjoy my time with Leif while my brother’s still missing?
He’d want me to be happy, I tell myself, but he’d also want to be found.
23
LEIF
“The paella isparticularly good tonight,” Dad says before taking another bite.
“Thank you. I changed up my saffron-to-paprika ratio.”
“Tastes like a success,” Mom adds as she blows on a forkful of her paella.
Since I returned home after my day with Zane, I’ve been trying to create the perfect coming-out opportunity, rehearsing those first words that will come out of my mouth:
Quick question: did either of you ever consider I might be bi?
So…what are your thoughts if I started messing around with guys?
Oh, by the way, I’ve been fucking around with the neighbor for the past couple of months.
“I know you said you didn’t want to go,” Mom says, “but there are still tickets on that cruise, and your dad and I don’t mind buying an extra one last minute.”
They’ve booked a Caribbean cruise for Christmas—something Linda will pry them away from over their dead bodies—and I’m glad, but I think they could use some alone time…and really, for the first time in a while, I’m enjoying what I have here.
“I’m good, but I appreciate it.”
There’s a stretch of silence.
Just get it over with.