Page 127 of Wanted
Even as I close my eyes, I recall every single moment I chided Ashley for not listening to our parents. Every time I told her that our adopted mother just wanted the best for us, and she was only acting in our favor.
The times when I rolled my eyes at my sister’s seeming eccentric behavior. One memory in particular comes to mind. When Ashley turned thirteen and that bitch Angela Clarke insisted on throwing a party for her. She didn’t care that Ashley didn’t have many friends at our preppy all-girls’ school.
Nor did she care that Ashley preferred low-key events because our birthday always reminded my sister of the day our birth parents died.
Her birthday was the one day of the year, in which my sister’s almost endless energy waned, and she preferred to stay inside and watch movies, curled up on the couch rather than have an extravagant party.
But Angela Clarke demanded that Ashley have a party with a bunch of students from her class because their parents were well connected. The party wasn’t about Ashley at all, but about them showing off to others.
Which is why when Ashley came down the stairs in the white fluffy, lace dress Angela picked out for her and a pair of white tennis shoes that she’d drawn on in marker in different colors, proudly displaying her wolf pendant around her neck, Angela freaked out.
Ashley, being her headstrong self, though refused to change.
It was me who went up to Ashley’s room and told her she was being silly and asked her to just listen to Mom for once.
I can’t take off my pendant. You know I can’t take it off, Em. I wear it all the time.
With a sigh, I convinced her to change into the heels Angela had picked out and she could wear the pendant. Ashley smiled wide and threw her arms around my neck.
I knew you would understand, sissy.
The memory causes me to squeeze my eyes and the palm holding Ashley’s burned and charred pendant, tightly. The tears still manage to come out though. I can’t stop them.
I don’t want to, though. I know I deserve this pain. For all of the times I made Ashley believe, as my mother made me believe, that I was wrong or imperfect. That’s how I made my sister feel.
It had to be because I often did Angela’s bidding.
Even as Chance’s scent fills the air around me, I don’t open my eyes. He’s never far away. And as much as I want to go to him, I can’t. If he hadn’t forced me to come back here, to stay with him, I might’ve run away.
I can feel him trying to speak with me through our mate bond, but I’ve closed off our private method of communication.
I don’t deserve to have a mate as good as he is.
Chance remains undeterred, though, as he lowers himself to the side of the bed. I peel my eyes open to watch him place the tray of food on the floor in front of him.
“You need to eat,” he says out loud since he can’t speak to me through our bond.
The chicken soup and bread he’s brought for lunch fills my nose. My stomach even growls. Yet the thought of eating fills me with nausea.
I shake my head and roll over, giving him my back. More tears come to my eyes as I realize how awful of a mate I’m being.
Chance deserves better than me.
Ashley deserved more than I gave her.
The only family I had, and I treated her like she was a project to be fixed and not a full person who deserved all of the love her heart could hold.
Now she’s gone and I’ll never be able to tell her how sorry I am.
“Emery,” Chance calls again. This only makes me cry harder. I want to let him in, but I can’t. I’m alone, as I deserve to be.
One day he’ll see me for who and what I truly am.
A curse.
And on that day, he’ll finally let me go.
My body racks with the sobs that spill from me uncontrollably. In between my cries, I don’t notice when Chance gets up and leaves. I feel his absence, though.