Page 130 of Wanted
“The only reason you made it here to New Mexico and your mate is because you flew across the country to find your sister.
“I think you were a damn good sister. So much better than you think you were.” She takes my other hand in hers, making me turn so that I’m looking her in the face. “Don’t let your grief lie to you and convince you of your horribleness. Let the grief remind you that the pain you’re feeling over losing Ashley is because of how deeply you love her.
“Remember her smile, her hugs, her laughter. Yes, it will be painful for a long time when you think about her, but always keep in mind that beneath that pain is love. Love both of you deserve to remember. And maybe, one day, if Mother Moon has a say, you’ll get to tell Ashley in person how much you love her.”
At first, it’s just a whimper that breaks free. A beat later, I’m full-on sobbing in Ms. Elsie’s arms.
I would’ve thought after seven days of non-stop tearshedding, I didn’t have any more tears to cry.
I was wrong.
Eventually, Ms. Elsie’s soft hold is replaced by a much stronger, larger embrace. I don’t bother opening my eyes as I wrap my arms around Chance, holding him to me as I dampen his shirt with my tears.
His arms, his scent, and most important, his love, wrap around me being the shield I need. Just as he’s been since the moment I found my sister’s pendant in that awful fire pit.
CHAPTER 36
Emery
I’m sorry.I speak to my mate through our bond for the first time in days.
The soapy washcloth he’s running up and down my arm stops moving.
I’m sorry I’m not the mate you deserve,I tell him as I stare at him on his knees on the side of the bathtub while he bathes me.
Unable to stop myself, I reach out to him to run my fingers through a few pieces of the hair that’s escaped his braided ponytail.
Do you think Mother Moon makes mistakes?he asks at the same time he takes my hand in his.
I can’t meet his eyes, so instead I focus on the way the water drips from my arm, dampening his light-blue T-shirt, the wet spots turning a navy blue.
Maybe, I reply.
Do you think I was a mistake?
His question makes me gasp.
My gaze flies to meet his. The sadness in his eyes caves my chest.
With a shake of my head, I respond.You aren’t the mistake. You could never be a mistake. It’s me. I…I should be better for you, but for the past week I’ve done nothing but lie around in bed, cry and refuse the food you’ve offered. And now…
I look around the bathroom before gesturing to the bathtub with my head.You’re bathing me and asking for nothing in return. You always say I’m perfect, but that’s not true. You’re the one who’s perfect.
His beautiful pink lips spread slightly, one corner rising. I run my finger across his lip. Chance kisses my finger before he takes my hand in his.
I spent years, years of my life not wanting anything,he says.I was born to be the beta of my pack. That’s it. After I lost my hearing, it wasn’t my job to want for anything or anyone. The idea of a mate was out of the question.
My heart squeezes with every word.
While my father was the alpha of our pack. He was far from a perfect leader. And, honestly, an even less than perfect father. He convinced me that wants, a mate, a life of my own was for everyone else. Not a broken wolf like me.
Tears spring to my eyes. For the first time in days, they have nothing to do with my own pain. My heart hurts for the little boy who had already lost his hearing and because of it was made to feel as if he didn’t deserve to be loved as others.
Then I found you. He continues.And I was reminded of what it was to want something of my own again. The desire never left me, but it was suppressed from years of convincing myself otherwise. You made me want again. Most importantly, you made me want you. My wolf knew long before I did what was best for us.
And it’s you.
When I say I want you, it means all of you. All of your grief, your pain, your tears. Just as much as I want your smiles, yourlaughter and your voice in my head. I want all of it. So don’t you dare apologize for giving me exactly what I want.