Page 79 of His To Claim

I run my hands through my hair exhaling vigorously as I fall back on the bed.

“What the fuck have I done?”

My entire lifeI’ve prided myself on being honest. No matter what life threw my way I was always true to myself, loyal to those around me.

I knew my mom would never change, and despite my best efforts and what Jade and everyone else around me thought, I wasn’t in denial. It’s just that the alternative to helping her survive, was her demise. And that would only result in one outcome. Me being alone, more alone than I already felt.

And yes, maybe it was selfish of me to continue in my best efforts to keep her alive. She was a horrible human being. A selfish, cruel, and manipulative woman. But then again, I find myself in the predicament I am in today and can only explain it in one way.

I am my mother’s daughter.

Every part of her rotted and corroded soul lives within me. Her polluted blood runs through my veins, her DNA flows through every inch of me causing me to make the same mistakes she made. I use those around me for my benefit. I lie and cheat and justify it all with the pitiful excuse of protecting them.But what is it I’m telling myself I’m protecting them from? Me?

Jade, my precious gem. My beautiful, protective, and loyal little sister. The only constant in my life. The only other soul who has ever genuinely cared for me. She deserves to find her brother Roman, the only man she has ever loved. He shattered her soul when he walked away, left her alone with her father, and never looked back. She needs to know the whereabouts of her father inorder to find Roman, and if helping Agent Servite find my mother is the answer, then that’s exactly what I’ll do.

Then there is Drake. Damon Drake, my loyal, fierce protector. The one who’s been there for me when I’ve needed him the most. My best friend, my twin soul. And it’s he whom I’ve betrayed in the worst way. He was right to believe that I only started a relationship with him to spite Ace. Drake and I are linked in an inexplicable way. Two wayward souls, who were lost before we found each other. I care for him. I always have but there is a reason I never wanted to start a relationship with him. Deep down I knew in the end I was destined to hurt him, and he didn’t even know it.

I cheated. There’s no other word for it.

We agreed we needed to take a break, but that’s a pitiful excuse. Worse than cheated, I betrayed him, and this treachery would sting like the blazing flames of hell, where I was sure I’d find myself in the near future. A raging inferno made of my own wretched sins.

I criticize this world I was thrown into, which makes me question everything I’ve ever known to be true. This world is full of corruption, these devils around me filled with greed. But here I am, doing the one thing I never imagined I’d do.What kind of person does that make me?

The evil around me is suffocating, but if I’m capable of betraying my closest friend, my family, doesn’t that make me just as bad, or worse? I always believed I was good. Despite my upbringing I felt like I was a good person. I cared for those around me. I was capable of feeling all emotions. But now I see that I was so very wrong.

A good person does not cheat. A good person does not lie. A good person does not betray those they care about most. But I did every single one of those things, and soon I was going to have to pay for my sins.

But like I said, I’m selfish, and that day would not be today.

After Ace and Bass left the quarter, I threw myself under the covers and lay in silence, contemplating my transgressions. I heardwhen the girls got back, their noisy heels tapping against the hardwood floors of our apartment as they walked toward my bedroom. Jade approached my bedside while Stella stood at the doorway watching us curiously. I thought about acting like I was asleep, but then again, I’d have to face them eventually. But Jade said nothing. She reached down and unbuckled her heels before climbing underneath the covers beside me.

She looked up to Stella motioning for her to come join us and she did. I felt Stella climb onto the bed as well, being careful not to move me, and the three of us just lay there. Them in their expensive gowns and me in my ex-boyfriend’s hoodie, acting like I hadn’t just done the unforgivable.

Twenty-Six

ACE

This chick is going to be the end of me. Everything about the tantalizing little vixen stirs feelings deep inside of me. Into the deepest, darkest parts of my wicked soul. A feeling that hasn’t ever been awoken. A strange feeling, like nothing I’ve ever felt before. A tempting itch on my skin, a fire inside my body, a vice embedded deep in my brain. But that can only mean one thing.

She’s a threat. A risk I cannot afford to take. A temptation I can’t afford to fall for. I’m a heartless son of a bitch that was bred to be ruthless, menacing, and formidable. A fearsome leader among pitiful men. I’m the devil, she’s an angel. There is no room for her in my hell. I shall not stray from the chosen path I’m on. My destiny comes first. The fate of this world is in my hands.

But why is it that the only thing I want in my hands, is her?

Twenty-Seven

SCARLETT

Syrup. Sweet and decadent syrup. A sticky, sweet and delicious concoction of sugar which has always been one of my favorite foods. Syrup on pancakes. Syrup on waffles. Syrup on bacon. I can smell it from a mile away. And I smell it now.

I slowly tear my eyes open and find Jade hunched in front of me, a plate of pancakes drenched in syrup in her hands. I lick my lips and can almost taste it with just its honeyed aroma.

“Rise and shine, sleeping beauty.”

“More like wicked witch,” I grunt, and she raises a brow at me quizzically.

“Sit up and move over,” she says as she climbs in beside me. Just as I do Stella comes in with a tray of strawberries, coffee, milk, and orange juice.

“Wasn’t sure what you girls wanted, so I brought it all,” she says, setting the tray on my comforter and sitting at the edge of the bed.