Page 84 of Shephard

“Make yourself at home. I haven’t.”

“Why? You have a beautiful place. It’s gorgeous.”

I placed the drinks on the table, moving toward the fireplace. “Other than the time spent at my parents’ house, I haven’t stayed at one place long enough to make it feel like mine. I don’t need much and this place is… Well, it’s a bit overwhelming.”

“You just need a few feminine touches. That will help.”

She laughed softly as she continued building the fire and I couldn’t stand to see her doing it all by herself. I crouched down, taking the piece of wood from her hands.

“I’m really not helpless.”

“I never said you were, Denise. You’re a strong beautiful woman who was handed some shit. Don’t allow that bastard to take everything you’ve worked for away from you.”

“Said by someone who is doing the same thing. You’re lived a hard life. That much I get.”

I waited until flames licked up over the logs before returning to the couch. “I lived the life I chose.”

“Are you certain it wasn’t the life someone else chose for you? Your father? You already said he pushed his sons.”

“You’re playing psychiatrist again, sweetheart. What you see is what you get.”

“Then I see an amazing man who refused to accept anyone in his life. Friend. Lover. Relationship. Family. The reason is simple. You’re afraid of losing them. The military can do that to you. I know that. I witnessed my share of horrible deaths that I could allow to haunt me to this day, but I can’t let that rule my life.”

I picked up my drink, needing a few seconds before I could possibly answer her. No one had summed it up so succinctly. “Yeah, my father wanted his kids to go into the military. I doubted he would have accepted anything less, but I became a disappointment to him.”

“Because you disappeared while working deep undercover with some government organization removing or eliminating the darkest and most heinous monsters from this earth. Right?”

She was studying me with the same scrutiny I’d done with her. “Don’t ask questions that I can’t answer.”

“You’re out of the organization. You’re free. You’re here. You have a chance to live your life the way you want. Make amends. Have kids. Purchase a home. And I’m not asking for anything from you. You made it perfectly clear you don’t need anyone else in your life.”

Just looking at her was enough to pull at my heart strings. If I had any. She didn’t know me as well as she thought she did.

But she knew enough becoming any further involved with me could hurt her. And that was the last thing I wanted to have occur.

She seemed mesmerized by the fire, constantly petting Pepper as she stared at the flames.

“Do you like it here in Danger Falls?” I wasn’t even certain why I was bothering with small talk.

“Yes, I do. Maybe my soul needed cleansing and this is certainly the place to help do that.”

“But you left a life you loved because of Jameson.” I finally sat down on one of the leather chairs.

She nodded, her hand shaking as she took a sip of her drink. “Because I had no other choice. I adored what I did. But it was funny. When I accepted the position, which didn’t come easily, I knew I’d need to prove myself. I think I did that, but it took a couple years. Other detectives didn’t trust me. I came from a small operation in Maine, which I’m sure you already know. Murders were rare and even major crimes were once in a blue moon. But I proved them wrong.”

I hated to hear her laugh so bitterly.

“You don’t need to prove yourself to anyone, Denise. You’re good at what you do. You have a handle on this case.”

“Yeah, well, I couldn’t locate the town’s murderer. The FBI refused to allow my involvement. Handle or no handle, it doesn’t matter. Unless you know something.” She would continue to push me.

“And you’re ignoring that command. You’re placing yourself smack in the middle of danger.”

Her wry smile was confirmation. At least she turned her head toward me, her eyes sparkling for the first time that night. When she pulled a small jump drive from a pocket in her jean skirt, I shook my head. “So what? The Feds are covering this up. They know the killer. I feel it.”

That was possible and if they’d reached out to anyone about it, their operation would have been shut down. That’s how powerful the organization I’d worked for truly was. I’d come to terms with realizing I’d been nothing more than a puppet. But she was still way in over her head.

“You’re playing with fire,” I told her.