Page 83 of Fix You
With a shake of his head, Rafe replied, “She’s a mess.”
“A corker as we say in Ireland. She said she knew there was something between us at the reception, so she thought seeing me in the dress might reel you in.” At the thought of his marriage contract, I grimaced. “I mean, she felt that way until she learned about your future wedding.”
The mood in the room shifted. Suddenly, I felt too exposed and vulnerable without my clothes, so I went over to the table. I quickly threw the shirt over my head. While I was sliding the pants up my legs, I looked up to see Rafe’s gaze on me.
A regretful agony spread across his face. “I wish things could be different, Maeve.”
Feeling the tears pricking my eyes, I replied, “I know. So do I.”
“Are you going to be okay?” Rafe questioned. I knew his question was genuine and not based on some ego trip.
I mulled over his question. In one way, I was absolutely fine. Rafe had given me such a gift by helping me overcome my intimacy hurdle. I could go back to Dublin now having made progress emotionally and physically.
One day down the road, there would be another man. I didn’t know how he could possibly be better than Rafe, but I had to hope there would be one. Maybe several. And because of Rafe, I was healed enough to think about pursuing them.
But then there was the other way–the one where I was madly in love with him. The one where my chest threatened to collapse at the thought of walking away from him right now. The one where I wanted to plead for him to rip up his contract and marry me instead.
That way was going to be filled with a slow heartbreak, which hopefully time and distance would aid.
“The next man has some big shoes to fill,” I teasingly said, trying to lighten the mood.
When Rafe smiled, it didn’t reach his eyes. “There will be no woman who will ever compare to you.”
Pinching my eyes shut, I shook my head. “Don’t say that.”
“But it’s the truth.”
I swallowed down the rising tears. “And that makes it all hurt even more.”
“I’m sorry. It’s just how I feel.” He shook his head. “I always want to be honest with you, Maeve.”
“I know I’ll appreciate that one day, but it’s just too painful in this moment.”
“Then I won’t say anymore.”
And there it was. The hard goodbye.
Forcing a smile to my lips, I walked over to him on shaky legs. “I’ll never be able to thank you enough for what you’ve done for me.”
“I’m honored that you allowed me to be a part of it.”
A crack began in my heart. Its fissures began to crisscross through my chest. In a choked voice, I said, “Goodbye, Rafe.”
“Goodbye, beautifulTesoro.”
It took everything within me to walk away from him, but I did. I slipped out the door into the hallway where Milos was waiting on me. “Good morning, Ms. Kavanaugh. Mr. Neretti instructed me to drive you home.”
With a shake of my head, I replied, “No, that’s okay. I can just get a cab.”
“I’m sorry, ma’am, but this was an order.”
“Fine,” I muttered.
As we started down the hallway, Milos followed close behind me. I kept my emotions in check until we got to the elevator. Then I began openly sobbing, not caring that Milos was hearing me.
My hand came to my mouth to try to muffle my sobs. Through my tears, I saw a white handkerchief come into my eye line. When I glanced over at Milos, he nodded his head.
After taking the handkerchief, I swiped my eyes. When I went to give it back to him, he said, “Please keep it.”