Page 16 of Hearts on Fire
“Why without?” He grinned. “Not our family celebrations, of course, but I’ve held parties with my friends, other lords and ladies, where everything was allowed.”
“Everything?”
He nodded. “As long as everyone enjoyed themselves.”
That was the most upsetting thing about the current situation—I didn’t believe that everyone was enjoying themselves in equal measure. The balance of power here was severely skewed in favor of the men. I wondered how many women wouldn’t be here at all if given a choice.
Just a little while ago, I would have rather left this room, too. Now… Now, I no longer felt in a hurry to trade Elex’s warm lap for my cold perch in the room I shared with three dozen other women.
Other than his arm around my waist, he wasn’t touching me. After lifting the lace from my face, he hadn’t removed any of my clothing. I didn’t feel pressured to do anything the other couples were doing. He seemed to be content with simply talking to me. And I… I’d always loved talking to Elex.
I touched the soft silk of his shirt. The material was so thin, I could easily trace the landscape of his muscles underneath.
“So, what did you do with all those lords and ladies at your parties?”
He grinned. “Well, personally, I’ve always preferred ladies.”
“Ladies who liked doingeverythingat the parties with you?”
He paused, studying my face with unnerving intensity.
I was fine with our light conversation. I was even okay with flirting. I could possibly handle even more, as long as it remained light and easy.
But I had no idea what to do with this serious stare of his. I was losing control of the situation.
“That’s not what I’m after, Amber,” he said softly as his gaze caressed my face. “I have no interest in King Edkhar’s parties or the ladies of his court. For some time now, my mind and my heart have been solidly occupied by just one woman.”
Breath caught in my throat. I wasn’t ready for that turn of the conversation. I didn’t want to know which woman he was talking about. And I certainly didn’t wish to discuss any of that over the noise of sex happening in this room.
He slid his hand inside my hood, cupping the back of my neck.
“Amber…” He brought me closer, so close, my chest pressed against his.
I hooked one arm around his neck, splaying the other hand flat on his chest. The crimson silk of his shirt cast a red glow on my skin, like a hint of blood. Or the light of sunrise.
“I dream about you.” He stroked my cheek with his thumb. “Even during the day. When I’m hurt or alone, I close my eyes and think about you. I remember your kisses, and how you made me laugh. The memories of you fill me with light even when it’s dark.”
His voice was earnest, his expression open and warm. Stunned, I had no idea how to react to his confession. My inner barriers cracked, and I just stared into his eyes, my head spinning while I was losing myself in their depth.
“You’re the spark that brought me back to life, Amber. And you’re still lighting my way during the darkest times.”
My heart raced. So many emotions filled me, I feared they would overflow. Then, I might say or do something irrevocable. Something that would get me hurt. Again.
Elex was not my Prince Charming. He wasn’t my anything.
I had to stop this. To change it. But I didn’t know how.
I slid my hand up his shirt and slipped my fingers into the opening on his chest. He sucked in a sharp breath the moment I touched his skin. Heat flashed in his dark eyes.
Distraction. That was what I needed. And it worked—he stopped talking.
Encouraged, I reached down with my other hand and pressed my palm to his hard length through his pants. With a soft moan, he tossed his head back, thrusting his hips into my touch. His response proved invigorating.
“You like this, don’t you?” I whispered, pressing the side of my face to his, my mouth next to his ear. “You like my hands on you.”
He just groaned in reply as I squeezed my hand tighter. He’d spent so much time as an unfeeling piece of rock, every sensation must feel so much more intense to him now.
I wished to give him more.