Page 48 of Hearts on Fire

Tears sprang to my eyes from my utter helplessness. But Mother’s double-betrayal hurt the most.

“Will you let Iolena wash you?” Mother inquired inside the caves. “Or should I ask the guards to help her with that?”

It was bad enough that the guards were staying to watch me bathe. The last thing I wanted was for them to touch me, too.

“I’ll do it.” I bit my lip, taking off Elex’s cloak, then my dress and shirt.

I kept my head down but could feel the guards’ stares burning holes through whatever was left of my dignity as I walked into the water.

Keeping her shirt on, Iolena walked in after me and unbraided my hair.

“It didn’t take much time to grow. Just about three weeks.” Mother didn’t sound surprised at seeing my hair. I wondered if she’d learned about it during my sickness. I’d been too out of it back then to ensure it was covered at all times. “Does human hair always grow so fast?”

I didn’t reply to her. As Iolena washed my hair, I closed my eyes, trying not to think about Elex doing it for me just yesterday. But the memories rushed in anyway.

Where was he now? Making sure the king won his useless war?

As much as I wished to have Elex with me, however, I knew it was a blessing that he wasn’t here. He couldn’t fight the king. And at this point, I believed hewouldfight for me, even if it cost him his life. It was best for him not to know what was about to happen.

Tears trickled from under my closed eyelids and ran down my cheeks.

“I’m sorry, Amber,” Iolena whispered into my ear softly.

I bit my lip, shutting my eyes so tight my vision turned white. It wasn’t Iolena’s fault. She just did what she had to do to survive. And if I wished to live, I’d have to do that too.

By running her heated hands through my hair, Iolena managed to get it almost completely dry in a few minutes. After that, Mother had anothersalamandrabring new clothes for me.

These were even worse than what we all had to wear to the king’s parties before. I got underwear this time, but it was just a tiny pair of shorts made from material so thin, it concealed nothing. Next was an equally translucent, long shirt. Open in the front, it was only held together by one tiny bead-button below my breasts. The dress that went over the shirt was slightly more opaque, made from thin pale-yellow silk. Its neckline, however, was cut so low, it completely exposed both my breasts.

“What’s the point of wearing any of these?” I asked flatly.

“The king likes some teasing,” Mother replied in an even voice.

Iolena helped me put my robe on, then lifted my hood over my hair and lowered the lace primly over my face.

With all the revealing clothes underneath, the robe felt like a travesty. But that probably was what turned King Edkhar on. He seemed to have a thing for the stupid robes.

With Mother walking in the front, the guards on each side of me, and Iolena behind me, there was no way to run as I was escorted to one of the castle’s top floors I’d never been to before. At least a dozen guards in the king’s red-and-gold uniforms stood on each side of the double doors of what must be the entrance to the king’s rooms.

I stopped, refusing to move a muscle. I didn’t want to go through these doors. But what else could I do? Run? It wouldn’t make any difference. I knew it wouldn’t, but I still wished to try.

“May we have a moment, please?” Mother dragged me aside, out of the earshot of everyone present. “Amber, I know you hate me right now.”

I winced. Did I hate her?

I certainly severely disliked her right now. I despised her meekness, her subservience to power, and her compliance with injustice.

But Iunderstoodher. I understood her reasons for doing what she’d done. Most of her life, she’d been balancing on a thin blade, making sure hersalamandraswere fed and alive. She wasn’t entirely heartless, but she was often helpless.

That didn’t make her betrayal any easier to bear. I didn’t think I could ever forgive her.

“Sooner or later,” she continued, “you may learn to see things the way I do.”

“I hope not,” I bit out.

“A king is a much better patron to have than any lord, trust me. Something great may come out of it for you.” Mother’s voice lifted. “Children are rare among fae. Many of us go through life without ever giving birth. But I’ve heard humans are far more fertile.”

“No, Mother.” I cringed openly, guessing where she was going with that.