Page 31 of Bodyguard My Heart
“Everything he said was true. I didn’t help Fabian. I got him killed. I… The cartel does more harm than good.”
The look on his face was one I’d never seen him make before. He was broken and it pained me to see him like this. Running my hands through his hair, I gently took his head and lifted it up to look at me.
“I can’t argue with you on that. You know how I feel about the cartel, but we can’t change the decisions of the past, Demetrius. We can only change the ones we make in the future. You were given this life, and you made the best of it.”
He looked up at me and leaned his head against my thighs.
“My father taught me how to shoot my first gun when I was six. He took me to my first shipment when I was eight. I never felt like I had a choice in this shit. I ain’t finish school like you and Ro. This gangster shit is the only thing I know. What am I supposed to do if I’m not a part of the cartel?”
“Find yourself. Find your greater purpose.” I held him closer. “You may even be able to find a nice girl and fall in…” My words trailed off as Demetrius leaned me down just enough so that his lips touched mine.
“I’ve already fallen in love with this lil feisty, thick shawty. She kind of perfect for a nigga.”
“I’m not perfect,” I mumbled.
“Sure you are. Sometimes I don’t even feel worthy of you.”
Tears swelled in my eyes hearing Demetrius place me up on this pedestal I didn’t feel worthy enough for, especially when I was just as messed up as him.
“My childhood was so fucked up that I have more trauma and daddy issues than I can deal with. I rush into things. I never ask for help and I self-sabotage my relationships. It’s so bad that I’ve gone so far as to lie about not being in love.” I didn’t know when I had started crying, but tears rolled down my cheeks. Demetrius squeezed my legs tighter as he lifted me into the air and lowered me on his lap, making me straddle him.
“The first step in healing is acknowledging that we both fucked up.” He placed a soft peck on my lips.
“We’re halfway there then, huh?” I sniffled as we both shared a laugh. Something was shifting in us, in me, and I welcomed it.
“There’s so many things I would change if I could, Samara.”
“The good thing about life is that as long as you’re still here, you get to rewrite it.” I stared into his eyes. I was speaking more to myself than to him, but I think we both needed to hear it.
“Maybe I’ll do that,” he replied.
“Maybe you should start by asking me that question again.”
Demetrius looked at me. His eyebrows wrinkled and confusion coated his face. “Ask you what?”
I stared at him, allowing my eyes to speak every emotion that was running through my brain.
“Ask me again?” I repeated. His eyes told me he knew what I was talking about this time.
“Do you love me, Samara?”
“Yes, I love you so much.” After everything we’d been through in the past forty-eight hours, it seemed pointless to fight it anymore. If Demetrius was ever taken away from me, I wanted him to at least know I loved him. Demetrius’s face lit up like a child on Christmas morning, and a huge burden was released from my soul.
“I love you, too, baby girl.” Our lips collided again. This time I opened my mouth and welcomed the taste of his tongue.
“Make love to me.” I rolled my hips across his lap, trying to put out the fire that was rising between my thighs. His eyes dipped low as he gazed at me.
“Music to my ears.” He lifted me up slightly, and I took my hands and freed his dick from his shorts.
“Ask me again?” I whispered as he lowered me back down and inserted himself inside me.
“Do you love me?” His hand wrapped around my neck as the other assisted me in bouncing up and down on his dick.
“I love you, baby.”
“Say that shit again!”
“I love you! I love you!” I let out a pleasurable moan as we found our rhythm.