Page 34 of Love and Loyalty

Izzy's expression softened, her eyes filled with a mix of sadness and understanding. She nodded slowly, acknowledging Drew's apology.

Eventually, her mind began to replay the harsh words she had hurled at Drew, and she felt a growing sense of regret. She realized that her accusations had not only been heavy with condemnation but also thoughtless in their delivery.

She had let her emotions get the better of her, lashing out at Drew when she knew she was already grappling with guilt and grief. She wished she could take back her words, soften their edge, and find a way to address the situation without attacking Drew directly.

She turned to Drew to apologize, but she was already gone, having slipped out unnoticed. All she could do now was hope that she would understand her words had been spoken in pain, frustration, and anger.

The rest of the crowd dispersed slowly. Izzy’s thoughts turned to the strain building between her and Drew, the unspoken tension simmering for what felt like an eternity.

The emotional rift between them had become vast, with her harsh words and accusations further eroding the trust and understanding that once existed. Now, she felt utterly lost and bereft.

The weight of her responsibilities, the burden of command, and the strain of their fractured relationship…everything took a toll on her. She felt like she was drowning in a sea of self-doubt, and she didn't know who she had become.

She had always preached safety and diligence, but she crushed the heart of her best friend and lover. Her mind swirled with memories of their past conversations, the trust they hadonce shared, the intimacy, and the unspoken understanding that had once made their partnership so strong.

Now, all she could see was the endless stretch of what they had lost and the daunting task of trying to rebuild it, if it had any hope of being rebuilt. She had lost it all: her confidence, her sanity, and her focus.

The person who was her source of joy, her anchor in life, and who brought significance into her soul was now distant and furious, and Drew may potentially shut her out forever, leaving her feeling empty and lost.

Her eyes dropped, her gaze falling upon the cold floor as if searching for a lifeline to cling to, a way to salvage what was left of their relationship and find her way back to solid ground, but she knew there was none.

“Lieutenant Colonel?” Lieutenant Lewis called out. “I’m so sorry for your loss. But I think you should get some rest. You have had a really long night. It's almost dawn.”

“Thank you.” She nodded and walked toward her quarters, knowing fully well that a good night's sleep was impossible.

Chapter Eight

Drew

Drew had always prided herself on her exceptional skills and unwavering confidence. She had faced countless high-pressure situations, never once doubting her abilities. That was until she met Lieutenant Colonel Isabel Oakley.

She knew she was in trouble right from their initial interactions, even though they kept it strictly professional. However, she realized that she couldn't deny the spark she felt whenever Izzy was nearby. As they worked together, Drew found herself drawn to Izzy's intelligence, leadership, and compassion.

Lately, though, she had begun to experience unfamiliar emotions. She felt vulnerable, uncertain, and questioning. For the first time in her career, she doubted her capabilities, especially in the field.

The loss of Sergeant Thompson had hit her hard. Drew knew she hadn’t really done anything wrong on that mission, she had made a split second life or death decision that had likely saved a lot of other lives, but still she felt deep pangs of guilt over his loss.

During missions, Drew's mind wandered to Izzy, wondering what she would think and say. She hesitated, second-guessing herself, which had affected her performance.

They had been at the base for almost three months now, and talk was already going around about both of them, so it was no surprise that after returning from a flight, fatigue setting in as she made her way to her quarters to grab some rest, she overheard a conversation that made her heart skip a beat.

A group of young privates fresh out of training huddled in the corner, speaking in hushed tones. Drew's ears perked up as she caught snippets of their conversation.

"...can't believe Major Mitchell is still leading ops," one of them said. "She's always second-guessing herself now."

"Yeah, and it's all because of the Lieutenant Colonel," another private chimed in. "She's clearly got a thing for her, and it's affecting her judgment."

Drew felt a stinging sensation as if she'd been punched in the gut. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. These young soldiers, barely out of training, were questioning her abilities and attributing her supposed decline to her relationship with Izzy.

She wanted to confront them and set the record straight, but something held her back. Maybe it was the exhaustion, or maybe it was the nagging doubt that had been creeping into her mind lately.

Drew slipped away unnoticed, her mind reeling with the conversation she'd overheard. Was it true? Was her relationship with Izzy affecting her performance? And what did the rest of the team think?

As she trudged back to her room, she couldn't shake off the feeling of self-doubt that had been creeping in since she met Izzy.

Once inside, she paced back and forth, her eyes fixed on the floor. "What's happening to me?" she muttered to herself. "I've always been a top-notch operative. I've never let personal feelings get in the way of my job."

She stopped pacing and stood in front of the mirror, staring at her reflection. "But that's not true, is it? Since I met Izzy, everything has changed. I've been hesitating in the field. It's like I've lost my edge."