Page 34 of Love Is…?
“Hi, singles! Welcome to this month’s speed dating! I hope you’re ready to put your best foot forward and meet your perfect match!” Jayde and Tessa stared at each other, then grinned.
“Now, half the singles will be given a table to sit at and the other half will rotate around the circle at six-minute intervals. After each date, each single will mark their card if they’d like to meet that person again. If you both mark each other on your cards, then the fates have spoken! We’ll share your phone number with that person and let destiny take over!”
The woman, dressed in chinos and a button-down shirt, gave off cruise director vibes, like she was thrilled to marshal passengers, but without all the saltwater or gastro.
“If you haven’t done so, write your name on a label, stick it on, and take your places. We start in five minutes, everyone. Let’s get dating!”
The music soundedlike a DJ had downloaded an on-hold playlist and attempted to work some magic. It was just loud enough to drown out the bar but soft enough to allow for actual conversation.
Tessa managed to grab a chair against the wall, which meant an hour and a half of not moving except for a toilet break, and maybe a breathing break halfway through. She clutched her cardboard folder, the size of a restaurant bill wallet, which contained the names of the dates printed on a checklist inside, and a pen emblazoned with the pub’s logo tucked into a pocket. She snuck a look at Jayde, who was hovering behind the chair on the inside circle one space over. It meant that they’d eventually meet up, and that thought produced an accidental lip bite, which Jayde, looking her way, seemed to appreciate if her hooded gaze was any indication. Tessa took a full second to acknowledge the sizzle of attraction that took up residence in her stomach, then she jerked her head back to the name list.
Suddenly a bell rang, chairs were pulled out, people sat, and the host cheerily announced that the chemist down the road sold dental dams.
The woman, date number one, informed Tessa that she was forty, her occupation was something to do with real estate, that she had four siblings, her work colleague’s lunch orders consisted mainly of Subway sandwiches, her dog’s favourite treat was liver, and her name, not the dog’s, was Poppy, all before Tessa could get a word in. She grabbed her chance at the first pause.
“Hi, Poppy. My name’s Tessa, I’m a chaperone, and I have a flatmate who is also my cousin.” She smiled winningly, makingenough eye contact to appear interested but not so much as to be mistaken for a sociopath.
Poppy gave a low hum of disapproval. “I have two cousins, and they’re both arseholes. I wonder how I’m even related to them.” She inhaled, and Tessa leapt in again.
“Oh, I agree. There are some very awful people in the world.” She and Poppy stared at each other and as Tessa wracked her brain for another small talk topic, Poppy’s hand crept towards the cardboard folder on her side of the table.
Tessa gave a small sigh.
Then the bell rang, and after crossing out Poppy’s name, she found herself sitting across from date two; Tenielle, thirty-seven, stellium Aquarian with Masc, Fixed, and Air elements.
Tessa nodded knowledgeably, hoping Tenielle wouldn’t ask what star sign she was because Tessa had no idea and definitely no idea what the stellium version was. Tenielle didn’t seem to mind because she utilised all six minutes to deliver a TED talk about rising moons, the rarity of Aquarians, and why Geminis and Librans were her soulmates. The bell rang and Tessa breathed a sigh of relief.
Lea, the date just before Jayde, was pulling out all the stops. Hair twirling, lip biting, eyes lingering on Tessa’s breasts. All she needed was the finger running through the condensation on the glass trick and Tessa should have been grabbing the woman’s hand, and taking her home. Lea was lovely. Gorgeous, in fact. Sexy, and intelligent, and at the end of the date, Tessa smiled at Lea, who smiled in return and Tessa felt that they’d had a fabulous six minutes. She stared at Lea’s name on the list, her pen hovering. She couldn’t do it, and put a line through Lea’s name.
“Hi, I’m Jayde Ferguson.” Jayde plopped into the chair, leaned back, and grinned.
“Hi there, Jayde.” Tessa smiled. “My name’s Tessa Connor. What do you do for a living?”
“Oh, I’m a video game tester biologist accountant.”
Tessa dissolved into giggles. “Well, that sounds like it keeps you occupied. I tame lions and dabble in astrophysics as a side hustle.”
They grinned at each other, and Tessa’s eyes roamed, taking in the dark eyes, the beautiful freckles, that hair she could envisage running her hands through.
“Did you try out the joke?” Jayde asked.
“No! I was not going to say that. I talked to everyone like a normal person.”
“Oh well. I asked my dates whether they liked it soft or rough.”
Tessa coughed. “What?”
“Towels. Soft or rough? It’s a contentious issue. There was a poll on BlueSky.” Jayde lifted an eyebrow.
Another bout of giggles attacked. “You didn’t really say that to these poor women,” Tessa said.
“No,” Jayde replied, nodding her head affirmatively. “So, did you tick anyone’s name?”
Tessa picked up her card, held it close like a poker player hiding their hand, and stared at the ocean of horizontal lines. So many names. No ticks at all. Except one, but that tick was pointless because she already had that woman’s phone number.
“Perhaps…” she said mysteriously. “You?”
Jayde slapped her card to her chest as well. “Not telling. I guess we’ll never know.” A soft smile pulled at her lips. “Did you have fun?”