Page 47 of Love Is…?
“It’s nice. Tessa Connor sounds like a game show contestant. Tess Connor sounds mysterious, like the head spy of ASIO.”
Jayde blinked.
“Or.” Tessa winked. “It sounds like an abbreviation given to me by a friend who I’m enjoying having dinner with.”
Jayde rummaged through the flirting-picking up-anonymous sex curriculum that she’d written and found that the woman in front of her was scoring all the A pluses, particularly in the first half. Tessa was sexy, and fun, and cheeky, and flirty, and oh God, Jayde could feel the stringent walls she’d erected starting to crumble. Why now? Why her?
Decidingthat kebabs were next on the menu because not only were they tasty but?—
“If we order different types then we can share and not break rules,” Jayde said, frowning and nodding, a smile flickering on her lips.
Tessa hummed. “It’s like you know there’ll be a multiple choice test at the end of our three months.”
Jayde grinned, then pointed. “No Shishhas the best shish kebabs in Melbourne.” Then she paused, reached to hold Tessa’s hand, paused again just in case Tessa wasn’t open to that particular gesture. The hesitancy was maddening. All this romance palaver was making her vulnerable and shy.
She looked down because, halfway through her brain chat, Tessa had found Jayde’s hand, and turned it so that their fingers became entwined, then softly swung their hands between them. Jayde lifted her gaze.
“Hand holding is romantic. This is a teaching moment,” Tessa said, the words barely audible in the noise of the crowd.
“I’m a big fan,” Jayde replied, equally as quietly. They smiled at each other, and Jayde tipped her chin at food truck number fourteen. “Kebabs await.”
Jayde discovered, all the way through the consumption of the kebabs and then the tiny chocolate brownie cubes, when her gaze slid to Tessa, that Tessa was staring right back. If it had been a real date, instead of a practical lesson, then Jayde would have been a puddle on the ground, and Jayde had never, ever been a puddle of anything anywhere.
“Is this the point where you say ‘I love you’ to a woman?”
Tessa narrowed her eyes. “Are you being facetious?”
Jayde leaned back. “No! You said that you say it really early. When you feel it. Like about now?”
“Probably not this soon, and I can’t tell anyway because this”—Tessa flicked her finger between them—“isn’t real, but based on events so far, then I’d be heading in that direction.” She laughed. “I’m such a sap.”
Jayde scooped up Tessa’s hand. “You’re not a sap, Tess, and besides not being a sap, we’ve also established that you’re Cupid’s PR agent here on earth so if you can’t make me fall in love with love then no one can.” Jayde grinned wickedly, then laughed outright as Tessa leaned over and smacked her shoulder.
“And don’t you forget it.” Tessa growled good-naturedly. “You’re being very brave about all of this.” Tessa waved her arm about to encompass the food trucks, then brought her arm back to place her hand on her chest, and then pointed at Jayde. The entire movement said such a lot.
“I am?” Jayde folded her arms on the table top, and leaned forward.
Tessa mimicked the action. “Jayde, to fall in love means to be vulnerable because you’re out there hoping the other person who’s holding your heart won’t get distracted or shrug indifferently or slip and drop it.”
“Love is possessing excellent fine motor skills?”
Tessa pursed her lips. “Stop it. You’re doing that thing where your walls are graffitied with jokes, and witty observations, and you use them to parry any type of commentary about love in case an arrow of romance might get too close.”
Jayde stared, then slid her eyes away. “Okay. But you’re wrong. I’m not brave. I told you why I don’t do love, but…” She brought her gaze back and held Tessa’s unwavering look. “I don’t fall in love because my vulnerability is inside its blanket fort with chips and a chocolate mud cake. It’s not leaving. I won’t let it bebrave.”Jayde considered her words. Not brave. Not vulnerable. Not willing to love. Way too many ‘nots’ floating about.
“But you are amazing at romancing, Jayde. Any woman would be just about swooning by now with your thoughtfulness. It doesn’t matter that this is just pretend. You’re romancing me.”
“And you’re being amazing as well, Tess, to try all this hooking up palaver. I know the chatting to people bit is right up your alley but thinking about the flirting, and the anonymous bedroom antics later makes you uncomfortable. But you’re still doing it, and that means you’re brave.”
The noise of the crowds, the aromas of the food, the eye contact that said such a lot behind careful veils filled the moment.
They decided to call it a night when their yawns synchronised.
“School night,” they said at the same time and laughed.
As the tram neared the stop at Tessa’s apartment, she leaned into Jayde’s shoulder. “This was a beautifully romantic night. You’re romancing me, Ms Ferguson, so A plus.”
With her eyesas wide as dinner plates, Tessa left Jayde, who she’d invited in for a cup of tea, sitting in the little lounge area and walked into the kitchen. She flicked on the jug to boil the water, and pressed her palm against her chest as if to hold onto the warmth of Jayde’s hand, which hadn’t left hers the entire tram ride home.