Page 21 of Hannah.
The weight of my secret steals my voice. I feel a pang of shame for my actions, realizing that my thoughtless impulse might have jeopardized Astrid's exhibition. I want to confess, to tell Astrid the truth and apologize, but the words stick in my throat like a bitter pill.
“I'll check the archive room again when I return,” Astrid says, attempting to brush off the concern even though it’s clear to everyone at the table that she’s freaking out internally. “Maybe I left it there.”
“I’m sure you'll find it,” I interject, my voice barely above a whisper. I don’t regrethavingthe bracelet, but I do feel ashamed that I did something to hurt Astrid, even if she doesn’t know that I’m the one responsible.
Later that evening, once dinner is done, Astrid guides me to my guest bedroom. Her father says we should come to have a port in the library with him, but I wave the offer off, making an excuse of being exhausted and needing to study some before bed. The truth is that I’ve been itching to be alone ever since Astrid’s assistant called.
The room is cozy, adorned with soft hues and floral patterns, giving it a warm feel. The bed is invitingly made, and a small writing desk sits by the window.
“I’ll let you settle in,” Astrid says, giving my hand a quick squeeze. “I’m off to have some port with my parents, but I’ll stop by to say goodnight before bed.”
“That sounds good.” I force a smile on. “Thanks, Astrid.”
“No, thankyoufor coming,” she insists. “It’s been so long since I’ve had a female friend. I like having you around, even if youarejust a fresher.”
I laugh at her attempt at a joke, even though it rings a little hollow. Astrid leaves, and just as I settle in, my phone buzzes with a FaceTime call from my mom. Her face lights up the screen when I accept the call, familiar and comforting. “How's Cambridge, sweetheart? Are you settling in well?”
I can't help but smile as I share the highlights of my week, from the intriguing exhibition to meeting Astrid and the warm hospitality of Astrid's family. When she asks about Johan, I keep my response casual, masking the twinge of disappointment. “Oh, he’s actually Astrid's boyfriend now,” I say, trying to sound nonchalant. “It’s fine, really. Astrid seems happy, and that's what matters.”
Mom hums and I see her narrowing her eyes. “That’s…interesting. Does that bother you at all?”
Yes!My inner thoughts scream, but that’s not what I tell her. I shrug, lying back so my head hits the pillow and holding the phone above me. “He was just a crush, Mom. Just like he was for Elise. And see how she’s moved on? Everything is fine.”
Mom doesn’t seem convinced, which annoys me. Ever since picking up on Elise and Dan being a couple before they announced it, she seems to view herself as some sort of matchmaker. It’s annoying.
Even so, she waves her hand in the air, dismissing any Johan problems. “There will be plenty of opportunities, dear. Plenty of eligible, educated bachelors. Don’t worry too much about that.”
“I already said I wasn’t,” I grumble.
Just as I end the call, there's a soft knock on my bedroom door. Astrid peeks in, her eyes filled with kindness. “Is there anything you need before bed?”
I shake my head, offering a genuine smile. “I’m good, thank you. Goodnight, Astrid.”
She returns my smile, wishing me goodnight before gently closing the door, leaving me alone one more.
7
Johan
I don’t have muchof an appetite, but I make myself a cup of black tea and some toast anyway, out of habit more than anything. Yet as I sit down to try and nourish myself, it’s not the food that occupies my mind; it's Hannah. Her silence, the deliberate way she’s ignoring me…hell, I don’t even know what to do about it.
I panicked when Astrid introduced us, and I don’t know why in the hell I pretended not to know her, but I’m grateful for the split-second decision. That doesn’t explain why she didn’t answer my last text.
Tea mug in hand, I start pacing the room, replaying our interactions. Nothing stands out. Yes, I ignored her text messages from when she arrived at Cambridge, but I needed time to reconcile what I felt for Astrid before interacting with Hannah again, and I even apologized to her for that. My exhibition forced me into swift contact with Hannah, but I made sure to approach her in private so she knew I wasn’t going to ignore her anymore. Yet, the way she brushed me off gnaws atme. Hannah, the girl who came all the way from the Netherlands to be with me for a Horse Show, is now the one ignoring me. I guess I deserve the cold shoulder. But that doesn’t mean I will be content with it. As I mull over our recent encounter, a sharp knock punctuates the silence. The camera app on my phone flashes, and I open it, seeing a familiar figure waiting outside with his hands in his pockets. With a sigh, I go and open the door to…
“I know you missed me, but I’m back!” Conrad Harcourt says, loud and proud, as he enters my apartment without waiting for an invitation. No surprise there.
With his olive skin and a crown of dark, unruly hair, Conrad carries an air of effortless sophistication. He’s fit, while his eyes sparkle with an underlying humor. Despite his aristocratic roots, he possesses a charm that bridges the gap in any social situation. Everyone loves Conrad.
“Well, hello to you too,” I grumble, shutting the door behind him.
Conrad is at the stovetop, pouring the remaining hot water into a mug and thumbing through my collection of teas as if he were at home in my apartment. He doesn’t even look up at me as he speaks. “I’ve been tasked to drag your royal ass to Goschen Hall. No need to voice your disagreement; I won’t hear it.”
The annoyance in my voice is obvious when I ask, “So I don’t even get a say?”
Conrad looks at me now, smirking as he repeatedly dunks the tea bag in the water. “I was told you already knew about these plans but were putting them off until the last minute unless I didn’t retrieve you myself. Something about getting lost in your research or something.”
“Look, I appreciate?—”