Page 102 of Succeeding Love

Ten different kinds of regrets and guilt ate away at me while waiting outside for Lynn to come back down. There was a war waging inside of me. The part of me that wants to bust in the condo building and drag my girlfriend out of there before her ex forces himself on her again is barely being kept in check because I know that would only piss her off more.

Preston was there, too. I have no trust in that asswipe ex of hers, but I did trust Preston.

After what felt like forever, Lynn emerged with her kids on her heels. As she walked, I noticed a tear in the side seam of her dress. My eyes narrowed, wondering how her dress got torn. Only the worst scenarios came to mind. All of which didn’t help my anger.

Preston gave me a stiff look, then hurried off to his father’s car, probably to park it in the parking garage. Jessie had a bag on her shoulder, and Lynn had a gym bag in her hands. The kids must be going back home instead of staying there with their drunk father.

When Lynn dropped the bag on the curb, ten feet away from me. She didn’t even acknowledge me standing there staring at her. Jessie looked uncomfortable, and maybe even sad. She smiled tightly at me, then hugged her backpack more on her shoulder.

“You can drop your bag in the car,” I told her, wanting to break the silent tension.

Jessie looked at her mom, then Lynn shook her head. “She’s riding with Preston,” Lynn said, still not looking at me. “She can hold her backpack until he comes out.”

Fuck, she was even more pissed than I imagined.

“Lynn, I-”

“Not now,” she cut me off. “We’ll talk on the way back.”

She finally looked at me, but it wasn’t an expression that I wanted to see. Her eyes were tense, almost cold. She was always so fun-loving and vibrant. This expression on her face was making me panic on the inside.

I wanted to do something, anything, to break this tension between us, but I had a genuine fear of pushing her too far.

I sat awkwardly on my hood, pleading with Lynn with my eyes. She was back to not looking at me, just staring blankly towards the parking garage with a vacant look in her eyes.

When Preston’s mustang pulled out of the garage, my heart hammered in my chest. This talk Lynn and I were about to have alone. I wasn’t so sure if I wanted to have it. I didn’t know what she was so angry about.

Well, I had a clue, but I think I was fucking justified in getting as pissed as I did. She’s standing out in the cold with a torn dress, dragging her kids back home late at night because her ex-husband is an idiot.

“Are you going to be okay, mom?” Preston asked as he got out to help Jessie toss her bags in the trunk. He gave me a look out of the corner of his eyes.

Lynn just smiled tightly, kissing her daughter’s cheek before Jessie slipped into the car.

“Drive carefully, sweetie,” she waved to Preston.

He gave me one last look before sighing and getting in his car to drive away.

Lynn stood on the curb, watching his car take off, not speaking or moving until he was all the way down the street. Then she finally looked at me again.

Instead of anger, she looked extremely tired. Her eyes were swimming, and her frown was deep. It broke some part of me to see her so despondent. So exhausted and empty.

“Let’s go,” she murmured after a long stare, then moved to walk past me to the passenger door.

By the time I pushed myself off the hood, she already had the door open and was getting in. I was the one that opened doors for her. She had always waited for me to do it ever since the first week of us dating.

I don’t know why, but it made me feel even worse. It felt like she didn’t need me. That I had let her down.

I hesitated before getting in, not knowing what was about to go down. Not knowing what she wanted to talk about had my anxiety going haywire.

Every sound in the car seemed extremely loud through the tense silence that stretched between us. The clicking of the blinker, the humming of the engine, the hiss of the air conditioner. All the noises I usually never notice, but now I’m focusing on each one to distract myself from the loud silence.

Lynn sat staring out the window for so long, she was like a statue. Not moving. I kept checking to see if she was even breathing. It wasn’t until the last time I checked I saw a tear rolling down her cheek.

“Baby,” I whispered, unable to keep quiet any longer.

When I placed my hand on her leg, she squeezed her eyes shut, sending more tears to glide down her face.

“Damn it,” I groaned, checking my mirrors before parking off the side of the street.