Page 64 of Volatile Vice

But is he right?

Why was it easier for me to think about the business when it was only drugs? Despite all the damage drugs do to innocent people?

Is it all that different to just take the innocent people? Bring them into a better country from where they are, except that… I can’t stomach the thought…

But if I do this… If I get my hands dirty, I may get some contacts that I need.

And perhaps those contacts can get Belinda out of the McAllister house for me.

This whole thing is making me want to throw up.

I may never eat again.

One thing is for sure. I need to make sure Raven understands that she and I are through. For good this time.

She’s been through enough.

I can’t get her involved in this.

21

RAVEN

“Hi, Falcon,” I say into the phone.

“Hey, Ray. Can you meet me over at your place?”

“Yeah, I suppose so.” I look around—the house is still. “Nothing much else going on over here.”

“Great. See you there around ten.”

I end the call and find my mother still in the kitchen, sitting at the table and nursing a cup of tea. Her normally rosy face is pale.

“You okay, Mom?”

She looks up at me and forces a smile. “Yes, of course, Raven.”

“I’m going to go over to my place for a little while. Falcon wants me to meet him there.”

“Whatever for?”

“He didn’t say,” I say, “and I didn’t ask.”

She sighs. “Raven…”

“Dad says we’re in the clear about Mr. Latham’s murder,” I say.

She nods. “That’s good news at least.”

“Yes, it is.” I walk toward her and give her a kiss on her cheek. Her cheek is cold. Her eyes are…spent. Like she has no tears left to cry.

This whole thing has her rattled. Maybe I shouldn’t leave. But Falcon… I can’t say no to him. Not ever. I literally owe him my life.

“I won’t be gone long,” I say. “And if I have to stay longer, I will give you a call.”

“Thank you, Raven. I appreciate that.” She takes a sip of her tea.

I inhale the steam coming from the tea. The earthy and floral aroma of chamomile. She’s trying to relax.